IstanbulWimb

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

https://www.peninsula.com/en/istanbu...E&gclsrc=aw.ds

That looks plush. How much does it cost?

Can you get any fleapits for a few dollars a night there?

When I first stayed in Delhi {'94-5} I paid a quid a night. Communal bog which was just a hole in the ground. In '96, I found one off the main drag opposite the huge, minging rubbish dump for 60p a night. That was my fourth hotel after getting chucked out of the previous three on the trot since we'd got up from Goa.

The second one was up some stairs where the rooms were around an open-air space. We had the room behind the managers desk. Tried to switch the fan on. Didn't work. My {now late} mate punched the box on the wall with the fan switch and two plastic parcels fell out and the fan started working. Manager came in and asked what was going on. My mate puts his foot over the two finger sized parcels and says no problem, fan working now.

When he was gone, we opened them up and saw white powder. I thought it'd be smack, so I got some foil and tried to smoke, but it ran too fast to be white smack. My mate said what else would it be? I said I dunno, but my mouth is going numb. I think it's coke. He said you wouldn't get coke in Delhi. I said I reckon it is, so give me fifty rupes, I'm gonna get some ammonia and wash it up into freebase crack.

Had a great night. Over 10g in there which we shared with a couple of people we'd never met in another room but we found we had a mate in common with back in London. At the end of the night, we did a line of K to come down and sleep but the candle was left on and we were woken with the room on fire and the manager and police coming in. Thank Ganpati, they didn't find the K we had but got told to leave the next morning. Chucked out of two hotels in two days. The third, we lasted about 2-3 weeks before they chucked me out and I had to go to the flea pit by the rubbish dump.

But nowadays, you can't get a hotel for under a tenner. It's a disgrace. It's great that India's getting richer, but it was much more fun when that bit of Delhi was full of western druggies living in quid-a-night rooms, with no cars, just pedestrians, cycle rickshaws and cows in the Main Bazaar. Used to share my 3am omelette sarnie with this gorgeous brown cow who slept nearby.

Bet your hotel costs more. But do you have cows outside and very high purity coke hidden in the fan switch box?

[Luis Anaconda]

That looks plush. How much does it cost?

Can you get any fleapits for a few dollars a night there?

When I first stayed in Delhi {'94-5} I paid a quid a night. Communal bog which was just a hole in the ground. In '96, I found one off the main drag opposite the huge, minging rubbish dump for 60p a night. That was my fourth hotel after getting chucked out of the previous three on the trot since we'd got up from Goa.

The second one was up some stairs where the rooms were around an open-air space. We had the room behind the managers desk. Tried to switch the fan on. Didn't work. My {now late} mate punched the box on the wall with the fan switch and two plastic parcels fell out and the fan started working. Manager came in and asked what was going on. My mate puts his foot over the two finger sized parcels and says no problem, fan working now.

When he was gone, we opened them up and saw white powder. I thought it'd be smack, so I got some foil and tried to smoke, but it ran too fast to be white smack. My mate said what else would it be? I said I dunno, but my mouth is going numb. I think it's coke. He said you wouldn't get coke in Delhi. I said I reckon it is, so give me fifty rupes, I'm gonna get some ammonia and wash it up into freebase crack.

Had a great night. Over 10g in there which we shared with a couple of people we'd never met in another room but we found we had a mate in common with back in London. At the end of the night, we did a line of K to come down and sleep but the candle was left on and we were woken with the room on fire and the manager and police coming in. Thank Ganpati, they didn't find the K we had but got told to leave the next morning. Chucked out of two hotels in two days. The third, we lasted about 2-3 weeks before they chucked me out and I had to go to the flea pit by the rubbish dump.

But nowadays, you can't get a hotel for under a tenner. It's a disgrace. It's great that India's getting richer, but it was much more fun when that bit of Delhi was full of western druggies living in quid-a-night rooms, with no cars, just pedestrians, cycle rickshaws and cows in the Main Bazaar. Used to share my 3am omelette sarnie with this gorgeous brown cow who slept nearby.

Bet your hotel costs more. But do you have cows outside and very high purity coke hidden in the fan switch box?

In the sort of places I stay these days (through work), if one has to ask the price, one isn't fit to stay there

[Peter]

In the sort of places I stay these days (through work), if one has to ask the price, one isn't fit to stay there

Unless one is paying the bill, the price is none of one's concern

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

In the sort of places I stay these days (through work), if one has to ask the price, one isn't fit to stay there

Oooohh, they must be well nice. Do you get airmile style points that you can use on your own, not with work?

Never stayed in a plush hotel. But in Delhi {and before, when I used to travel to Goa via Mumbai, so would get to Mumbai in the early morning then get the bus or train in the afternoon/evening} I sometimes treated myself {ourselves when together} to the plush breakfasts in the Taj in Mumbai or Imperial in Delhi.

Well worth the treat, especially if you haven't been eating much due to having the ****s {and/or being off your head.}

Do you get top quality breakfasts in these fancy hotels?

Eggs cooked to order and fry up bits. As many lassis, chais and coffees as I wanted. Cheese and meats. Fruit {though only the Taj in Delhi had strawberries.} Lush.

We became mates with a waiter in the Taj called Mohan. That's why I was especially ****ed off when the Pak-backed terrorists attacked the gaff when they hit a few places around there at the same time.

All the other customers were rich {Indian or western} so would look down at the staff. But we'd just happily chat away with Mohan, the glw always looking relatively chic but me always crusty.} We went in for supper one early evening before the Delhi train. Had a bottle of Chablis. Heaven. Looked at the time and asked him if we got another bottle and had a glass each, could we take the rest of the bottle with us? He said of course.

When we asked for the bill, he said what about puddings cos they're included. I said we didn't have time, so he said he'd give us a takeout. Showed us the list. I said I'd have a slice of the chocolate cake. Glw said the fruit salad. Mohan asked which fruits she liked most. Glw said strawbs, would be happy just to have those. So he came back with the bottle and two plastic boxes. Min had about a dozen slices of cake, when it's meant to be one. Hers was rammed with more than a kilo of strawbs. Tucking into all that on the train before we got into the top bunks to sleep.

[Luis Anaconda]

Oooohh, they must be well nice. Do you get airmile style points that you can use on your own, not with work?

Never stayed in a plush hotel. But in Delhi {and before, when I used to travel to Goa via Mumbai, so would get to Mumbai in the early morning then get the bus or train in the afternoon/evening} I sometimes treated myself {ourselves when together} to the plush breakfasts in the Taj in Mumbai or Imperial in Delhi.

Well worth the treat, especially if you haven't been eating much due to having the ****s {and/or being off your head.}

Do you get top quality breakfasts in these fancy hotels?

Eggs cooked to order and fry up bits. As many lassis, chais and coffees as I wanted. Cheese and meats. Fruit {though only the Taj in Delhi had strawberries.} Lush.

We became mates with a waiter in the Taj called Mohan. That's why I was especially ****ed off when the Pak-backed terrorists attacked the gaff when they hit a few places around there at the same time.

All the other customers were rich {Indian or western} so would look down at the staff. But we'd just happily chat away with Mohan, the glw always looking relatively chic but me always crusty.} We went in for supper one early evening before the Delhi train. Had a bottle of Chablis. Heaven. Looked at the time and asked him if we got another bottle and had a glass each, could we take the rest of the bottle with us? He said of course.

When we asked for the bill, he said what about puddings cos they're included. I said we didn't have time, so he said he'd give us a takeout. Showed us the list. I said I'd have a slice of the chocolate cake. Glw said the fruit salad. Mohan asked which fruits she liked most. Glw said strawbs, would be happy just to have those. So he came back with the bottle and two plastic boxes. Min had about a dozen slices of cake, when it's meant to be one. Hers was rammed with more than a kilo of strawbs. Tucking into all that on the train before we got into the top bunks to sleep.

Breakfast are always the best thing as you get to order what you want (and I normally want two poached eggs, bacon and toast). The annoying thing is dinner, when, the chef will always give you what he wants to show off. Always best to get to know the sommelier so the wine keeps flowing in those occasions. Don't get air miles but did fly Etihad Business class recently. My next flight on easyJet will be a shock

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Breakfast are always the best thing as you get to order what you want (and I normally want two poached eggs, bacon and toast). The annoying thing is dinner, when, the chef will always give you what he wants to show off. Always best to get to know the sommelier so the wine keeps flowing in those occasions. Don't get air miles but did fly Etihad Business class recently. My next flight on easyJet will be a shock

Yeah, in India they have a chap just for the eggs. And as I said to Peter, the uniforms in Delhi with these giant turbans with feathers in look great on your waiters and egg-wallah.

But if you're gonna have poached eggs then why not Eggs Benedict? The glw makes the best oes ever on muffins with ham and Hollandaise. Must try to learn how to make my own sauce at some point.

I once got upgraded to business on Emirates for the Dubai-London leg. But these were the days before sleeper-beds.

My missus was in India when Covid hit. After a month, HMG arranged repatriation flights. There were 2 from Delhi. She was actually in Jaipur, 56-6 hrs from Delhi, but we gave the address of our mate's hotel in Delhi and just prayed that she'd be able to make it in time if selected. {They allocated the seats on a needs basis.}

She wasn't selected for the first flight but on Easter Saturday, got the email saying to get to IGI airport in Delhi by X o'clock that night. Had to get police to take her to hospital to get a test and get the paperwork so she could get a taxi.

She got there in time but called me to say that check-in said she wasn't on the list. I was freaking out thinking she'd be stuck there, but she said there were 7 other people who also had the email but the system couldn't find.

A bit later she calls to say that all 8 of them weren't showing up because they were the very last people to be selected and they were in first class. {No extra cost to the £580 everyone had to pay just to be on the list of people applying. You got the money back if you weren't selected.}

So she flew back on a sleeper-bed on Virgin Upper Class.

We flew Areoflot first class a couple of times. A cheap flight back then {'99} was £300. We'd flown into Mumbai to go south to Goa on Saudi. {£600 cos it was just after Xmas and everything was sold out.} After going back and dropping her dad off, we went to Delhi and the mountains. Back on Delhi, we couldn't face going to Mumbai and flying on Saudi with no booze so asked a travel agent we knew. He said they had a special - if you bought the return from India, it was £450 business class.

We did that and it was great. So when we next went back, I had to buy another flight back to London and our mate in Delhi said you can go first for £550 if you want, so we did that.

You had unlimited Veuve Clicquot bubbly in first. When we went back the next time, I went a week before the glw. On the Mos-Del leg, there was just me and some oligarch gangster in first. We get into our seats and the lady asks if I'd like a drink. Veuve Clic, please. Oh, sorry, you can't have booze until we're airborne, just water or orange juice for now. That's ok, I say, just bring us a glass of VCP as soon as you're allowed.

She gives the gangster his orange juice and then, putting her finger to her lips, gives me a glass of champers. I loved them.

So getting the return from Delhi, it was £200 more in first than in economy from London. £100 each way. VCP back then was £25 a bottle. And I managed 1 bottle on the Lon-Mos leg and 3 on Mos-Del. So those 4 bottles were basically the extra £100 I'd paid, and I could thus consider all the other bits like the lounge and huge seats freebies.

Did you have a bed when you flew ManCity business?

[Luis Anaconda]

Yeah, in India they have a chap just for the eggs. And as I said to Peter, the uniforms in Delhi with these giant turbans with feathers in look great on your waiters and egg-wallah.

But if you're gonna have poached eggs then why not Eggs Benedict? The glw makes the best oes ever on muffins with ham and Hollandaise. Must try to learn how to make my own sauce at some point.

I once got upgraded to business on Emirates for the Dubai-London leg. But these were the days before sleeper-beds.

My missus was in India when Covid hit. After a month, HMG arranged repatriation flights. There were 2 from Delhi. She was actually in Jaipur, 56-6 hrs from Delhi, but we gave the address of our mate's hotel in Delhi and just prayed that she'd be able to make it in time if selected. {They allocated the seats on a needs basis.}

She wasn't selected for the first flight but on Easter Saturday, got the email saying to get to IGI airport in Delhi by X o'clock that night. Had to get police to take her to hospital to get a test and get the paperwork so she could get a taxi.

She got there in time but called me to say that check-in said she wasn't on the list. I was freaking out thinking she'd be stuck there, but she said there were 7 other people who also had the email but the system couldn't find.

A bit later she calls to say that all 8 of them weren't showing up because they were the very last people to be selected and they were in first class. {No extra cost to the £580 everyone had to pay just to be on the list of people applying. You got the money back if you weren't selected.}

So she flew back on a sleeper-bed on Virgin Upper Class.

We flew Areoflot first class a couple of times. A cheap flight back then {'99} was £300. We'd flown into Mumbai to go south to Goa on Saudi. {£600 cos it was just after Xmas and everything was sold out.} After going back and dropping her dad off, we went to Delhi and the mountains. Back on Delhi, we couldn't face going to Mumbai and flying on Saudi with no booze so asked a travel agent we knew. He said they had a special - if you bought the return from India, it was £450 business class.

We did that and it was great. So when we next went back, I had to buy another flight back to London and our mate in Delhi said you can go first for £550 if you want, so we did that.

You had unlimited Veuve Clicquot bubbly in first. When we went back the next time, I went a week before the glw. On the Mos-Del leg, there was just me and some oligarch gangster in first. We get into our seats and the lady asks if I'd like a drink. Veuve Clic, please. Oh, sorry, you can't have booze until we're airborne, just water or orange juice for now. That's ok, I say, just bring us a glass of VCP as soon as you're allowed.

She gives the gangster his orange juice and then, putting her finger to her lips, gives me a glass of champers. I loved them.

So getting the return from Delhi, it was £200 more in first than in economy from London. £100 each way. VCP back then was £25 a bottle. And I managed 1 bottle on the Lon-Mos leg and 3 on Mos-Del. So those 4 bottles were basically the extra £100 I'd paid, and I could thus consider all the other bits like the lounge and huge seats freebies.

Did you have a bed when you flew ManCity business?

I don't like Hollandaise sauce, gg

and no I didn't have a bed - flights were too short anwway (first leg 5 hours, second leg 4) but it was sickening to be in Abu Dhabi airport and see massive pictures of Haaland everywhere.

Hopefully going to Oz in the winter so have to scram some decent flights (sadly a year too early for the Ashes - should have been perfect timing)

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

I don't like Hollandaise sauce, gg

and no I didn't have a bed - flights were too short anwway (first leg 5 hours, second leg 4) but it was sickening to be in Abu Dhabi airport and see massive pictures of Haaland everywhere.

Hopefully going to Oz in the winter so have to scram some decent flights (sadly a year too early for the Ashes - should have been perfect timing)

Gutted you're not going to the Ashes. You went when we last won after leaving The Times, I seem to remember. We should have a whip round. You're a lucky charm.

I s'pose not liking Hollandaise is an excuse for having bacon instead of Benedict. Still think you should have muffins, though.

I flew Turkish Airlines once. For all the safety stuff at the beginning, they didn't have the hostesses pointing to the exits and pretending to fit an oxygen mask, they had a video on the back-seat screens showing the Man Utd "humorously" explaining it all. Refused to fly them ever again.

[Peter]

That looks plush. How much does it cost?

Can you get any fleapits for a few dollars a night there?

When I first stayed in Delhi {'94-5} I paid a quid a night. Communal bog which was just a hole in the ground. In '96, I found one off the main drag opposite the huge, minging rubbish dump for 60p a night. That was my fourth hotel after getting chucked out of the previous three on the trot since we'd got up from Goa.

The second one was up some stairs where the rooms were around an open-air space. We had the room behind the managers desk. Tried to switch the fan on. Didn't work. My {now late} mate punched the box on the wall with the fan switch and two plastic parcels fell out and the fan started working. Manager came in and asked what was going on. My mate puts his foot over the two finger sized parcels and says no problem, fan working now.

When he was gone, we opened them up and saw white powder. I thought it'd be smack, so I got some foil and tried to smoke, but it ran too fast to be white smack. My mate said what else would it be? I said I dunno, but my mouth is going numb. I think it's coke. He said you wouldn't get coke in Delhi. I said I reckon it is, so give me fifty rupes, I'm gonna get some ammonia and wash it up into freebase crack.

Had a great night. Over 10g in there which we shared with a couple of people we'd never met in another room but we found we had a mate in common with back in London. At the end of the night, we did a line of K to come down and sleep but the candle was left on and we were woken with the room on fire and the manager and police coming in. Thank Ganpati, they didn't find the K we had but got told to leave the next morning. Chucked out of two hotels in two days. The third, we lasted about 2-3 weeks before they chucked me out and I had to go to the flea pit by the rubbish dump.

But nowadays, you can't get a hotel for under a tenner. It's a disgrace. It's great that India's getting richer, but it was much more fun when that bit of Delhi was full of western druggies living in quid-a-night rooms, with no cars, just pedestrians, cycle rickshaws and cows in the Main Bazaar. Used to share my 3am omelette sarnie with this gorgeous brown cow who slept nearby.

Bet your hotel costs more. But do you have cows outside and very high purity coke hidden in the fan switch box?

I took an executive suite in the Shangri-La in Delhi. It was acceptable for my needs. Food wasn't great.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

I took an executive suite in the Shangri-La in Delhi. It was acceptable for my needs. Food wasn't great.

Hadn't heard of that. Just looked, it's on Janpath. The one I use, the Imperial, is also on Janpath, but halfway between yours and CP.

Have a look. Yours is modern. Mine is from the days of the Raj:

https://theimperialindia.com/

Maybe try there? Might be older but will be classier. My waiters have these fancy uniforms with massive headdresses. They look tops. Will bring me a copy of the Times of India to read while I munch and don't mind me doing drugs in the bogs.

There's a Taj in Delhi, but apparently the plushest back in the day was the Oberoi.

We went there for lunch once, but got thrown out for breaking into the spa after munching and having a shag in the pool. We had to run down the driveway and jump into an autorickshaw shouting "Chello. Geldi. Abi. " {Go. Fast. Now.}

Only time I've ever had to do a getaway. Dunno if we paid.