lovely wife whom I only knew on here as CD.

Imagine if Berni had happened on Barney first! He'd have been straight on the blower to McDdonalds to see what he could get.

Monty would have hidden behind a hedge trembling like a girl and then boasted to his wife at dinner how he'd been attacked by wild horses in a country lane but had managed to fight them off (she would still think he was a çunt).

And one last thing. I recall some time ago you having your nose amputated due to cancer (Monty's dark arts I suspect). Can I say they did a splendid job with your prosthesis?