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Thread: This new contagion is a pestilence of biblical proportions

  1. #1

    This new contagion is a pestilence of biblical proportions

    contrived by Mother Earth to rid herself of the wicked infestation that is mankind.

    We, her faithful climate change warriors, have nothing to fear for as surely as we will die too, our ascension* is guaranteed along with Sir David and Saint Greta (peace be upon her).

    *someone said something about a few virgins- hope I get Greta.

  2. #2
    There was a young zealot named Greta
    At sucking a cock none was better
    Though she would gag and cough
    While noshing Herb off
    Since his knob tasted like year-old Feta

  3. #3

    Absolutely first class work b! Perfect scansion and not a faux rhyme to be seen. As

    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    There was a young zealot named Greta
    At sucking a cock none was better
    Though she would gag and cough
    While noshing Herb off
    Since his knob tasted like year-old Feta
    AWIMB's raucous ditty writer in chief I declare this a masterpiece

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    AWIMB's raucous ditty writer in chief I declare this a masterpiece
    Aw shucks. You're too kind, h. A mere bagatelle. Something tossed off in an idle moment.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    contrived by Mother Earth to rid herself of the wicked infestation that is mankind.

    We, her faithful climate change warriors, have nothing to fear for as surely as we will die too, our ascension* is guaranteed along with Sir David and Saint Greta (peace be upon her).

    *someone said something about a few virgins- hope I get Greta.
    No, H. It's the tiger cock-munching untermenschen's karma for the invasion of the most beautiful society modern humanity has produced.

    In 1951, the scum looked into the plateau and saw no crime, nor poverty, where everyone was happy and smiling all the time and the women were revered in a sexually egalitarian society, and they thought "These Tibetans are peaceful and happy and have freedom of speech and thought and just want to spread love instead of spreading hate while munching tiger cock and rhino horn so we'll invade them and engage in cultural genocide because we are egregious cünts who make the average Trump supporter look like Mahatma Gandhi."

    I hope the virus mutates so it only infects Han Chinks and then all 1.3 billion of them die immediately.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult View Post
    No, H. It's the tiger cock-munching untermenschen's karma for the invasion of the most beautiful society modern humanity has produced.

    In 1951, the scum looked into the plateau and saw no crime, nor poverty, where everyone was happy and smiling all the time and the women were revered in a sexually egalitarian society, and they thought "These Tibetans are peaceful and happy and have freedom of speech and thought and just want to spread love instead of spreading hate while munching tiger cock and rhino horn so we'll invade them and engage in cultural genocide because we are egregious cünts who make the average Trump supporter look like Mahatma Gandhi."

    I hope the virus mutates so it only infects Han Chinks and then all 1.3 billion of them die immediately.
    Don't the Tibetans all stink of rancid yak butter, though?

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Don't the Tibetans all stink of rancid yak butter, though?
    I thought that was the Mongols?

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by PSRB View Post
    I thought that was the Mongols?
    Bit ableist, psrb. And I think you're supposed to call them Down's Syndrome these days.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Bit ableist, psrb. And I think you're supposed to call them Down's Syndrome these days.
    I think the polite term is 'Epsom'
    'Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing
    But different than the day before'

    'Met a dwarf that was no good, dressed like Little Red Riding Hood'

    'Now you're unemployed, all non-void
    Walkin' round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd'

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Don't the Tibetans all stink of rancid yak butter, though?
    The yak butter tea isn't the nicest, I concede.

    But milking your pet yak to help you get through the winter isn't the same as slaughtering tigers and rhinos because you haven't heard of Viagra, is it?

    I don't wish to appear racist, but Johnny Chink is a wrong'un.

    We should never have put down the Taiping Rebellion for them at the same time as we were fighting the 2nd Opium War.

    We should have done a deal with the Western Powers and Japan to cut up the eastern third of the country between us, each having a coastal area, and made a pact with the Tibetans allowing them to annex all the territory around the plateau in the western third. The Chinks could have had the middle bit, where we could all use them as a source of pseudo-slave labour as and when required.

    Each colony would have been forced to learn and speak only the language of their colonial masters, and all tiger cock munching and other uncivilised behaviour banned.

    The Qing Mongolian imperial overlords used to bind women's feet during their whole childhood as they saw small feet as sexy.

    I know we were far from perfect - but we'd become the first society in human history to say no fellow human could be enslaved, and had banned suttee in India and fought wars against the Thugees* there, meaning people could travel around without getting garotted to death with a yellow scarf.

    So we should have annihilated their pox-ridden culture when we had the chance. And now look, eh? They've stepped into the old colonies in Africa we left because we no longer thought such behaviour acceptable, and done just what we did in C19th, propping up the local hardmen in return for robbing the gaff blind. They're forcing western leaders to kowtow to their vile culture. Their attitude to freedom of thought, belief, speech and expression is pre-Enlightenment. And the camps for the Muslims would see the country sanctioned to fück if we hadn't been so stupid as to allow them back into the global economy simply so some US shareholders could have one generation of extra dividends by exporting jobs there from the US.

    Nixon's Chink deal has done more long term damage to US (and western) interests than any other US political decision.

    We really should have carved that ****-hole up in 1860. And used the opium tax revenue to raise a massive army of Indians and Gurkhas on treble pay to keep them under manners.

    Not that I'm an imperialist, btw. It's simply that I've lived in Indian Tibet and my beloved has filmed an audience with HHDL (who I once saw stop the monsoon) and I'd happily see 1.3bn dead Chinks if it stops another poor monk self-immolating.

    *Though killing people in the name of the Goddess Kali is less hypocritical than killing them in the name of Jesus.

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