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Thread: IMPORTANT - Is your Christmas Day routine acceptable?

  1. #1

    IMPORTANT - Is your Christmas Day routine acceptable?

    YOU MUST

    1) go to the pub at some point
    2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
    3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
    4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
    5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

    Anything else?

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    YOU MUST

    1) go to the pub at some point
    2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
    3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
    4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
    5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

    Anything else?
    You're not the boss of me.

    By chance you have approached civilised behaviour in two areas:

    Presents must be opened before breakfast. What soret of weird ascetic Protestantism are you suffering from if you make people wait for their presents?

    Breakfast is smoked salmon scrambled eggs. With coriander for decent folk.

    Otherwise you're all over the place there.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    You're not the boss of me.

    By chance you have approached civilised behaviour in two areas:

    Presents must be opened before breakfast. What soret of weird ascetic Protestantism are you suffering from if you make people wait for their presents?

    Breakfast is smoked salmon scrambled eggs. With coriander for decent folk.

    Otherwise you're all over the place there.
    Open presents - 8am
    Christmas breakfast - 10am
    Local pub - 12pm - 1:00pm
    Make dinner - 1-3pm
    Her Maj
    Dinner eaten 3:30-5pm
    5-7pm telly, music, stomach digests, liver recovers
    7pm onwards - steam in again

    Perfect

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    YOU MUST

    1) go to the pub at some point
    2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
    3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
    4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
    5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

    Anything else?
    No. Smoked salmon is one of the most overrated things ever. Eggs Benedict for brekkers.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    Open presents - 8am
    Christmas breakfast - 10am
    Local pub - 12pm - 1:00pm
    Make dinner - 1-3pm
    Her Maj
    Dinner eaten 3:30-5pm
    5-7pm telly, music, stomach digests, liver recovers
    7pm onwards - steam in again

    Perfect
    This is a celebration of the birth of baby Jesus, who came to save you from your sin. It's not a military fúcking operation!

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    YOU MUST

    1) go to the pub at some point -well, duh
    2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj no one listens to her majesty apart from colonials pretending to be British
    3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast presents are nearly always a disappoinment - why ruin the best bit of the day - apartf from the pub
    4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast champagne and a bacon sandwich are perfectly acceptable
    5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess falling asleep with a drink in your hand is simply the sign of an amateur

    Anything else?
    Just helped you out there

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    No. Smoked salmon is one of the most overrated things ever. Eggs Benedict for brekkers.
    Not for me, Clive. Really good smoked salmon with horseradish cream is wonderful.

    Scrambled egg, warmed scotch pancake, sausage, crispy streaky bacon and smoked salmon.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    This is a celebration of the birth of baby Jesus, who came to save you from your sin. It's not a military fúcking operation!
    On one of my favourite ever Christmases, Top Gun was on and the entire family enjoyed it tremendously. Failing Top Gun, Zulu would be ideal.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    Not for me, Clive. Really good smoked salmon with horseradish cream is wonderful.

    Scrambled egg, warmed scotch pancake, sausage, crispy streaky bacon and smoked salmon.
    I find gravadlax infinitely preferable to smoked salmon. More subtle and less dominant.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda View Post
    Just helped you out there
    Like you'd be sober enough to remember any of it.

    Speaking of which, my alcohol consumption on Christmas Day is generally:

    champagne with prezzies and breakfast
    3 pints of ale in the local
    champagne as I make dinner
    bottle of red with dinner
    G&Ts during the recovery period
    Multiple negronis during the finale

    My liver is quaking at the thought

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