Apparently, Extinction Rebellion protestors have gone on hunger strike in the lobby

[Burney]

I think it's safe to say we're fans of Jains.

Also Sikhs.

Agreed. A great bunch of lads, Sikhs. Fond of whisky, in my experience.

Did I ever tell you about the time we played a muslim team in Bushey during Ramadan? Scorching day, it was and they couldn't even drink water. We won the toss, batted and proceeded to flog them round the park as they visibly wilted (I think I got 60-odd in even time). Then, during tea, they had to sit there sullenly watching us stuff our faces. I think by the time the game was over, a couple of them probably needed medical attention.

[Sir C]

Agreed. A great bunch of lads, Sikhs. Fond of whisky, in my experience.

Did I ever tell you about the time we played a muslim team in Bushey during Ramadan? Scorching day, it was and they couldn't even drink water. We won the toss, batted and proceeded to flog them round the park as they visibly wilted (I think I got 60-odd in even time). Then, during tea, they had to sit there sullenly watching us stuff our faces. I think by the time the game was over, a couple of them probably needed medical attention.

Don't those engaged in sporting activities get a pass?

Daft sods.

[Burney]

Don't those engaged in sporting activities get a pass?

Daft sods.

Nope. Inexplicably, it seems the Prophet Mohammed didn't make any allowances for League Cricket.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

I think it's safe to say we're fans of Jains.

Also Sikhs.

You two both appreciate the Jains and the Sikhs? You see, I knew there was hope for you two.

Would you rather be a Jain/Sikh or a Papist bumboy/DUP nutter/Yîddo/Towel-head?

I rest my case.

I'm sure you'll both be reincarnated as something better. I was worried you'd come back as Sperz fans or Septics. But the path to Nirvana is open to you both.

My work here is done. Padmavati Ek Hai.

[Sir C]

You two both appreciate the Jains and the Sikhs? You see, I knew there was hope for you two.

Would you rather be a Jain/Sikh or a Papist bumboy/DUP nutter/Yîddo/Towel-head?

I rest my case.

I'm sure you'll both be reincarnated as something better. I was worried you'd come back as Sperz fans or Septics. But the path to Nirvana is open to you both.

My work here is done. Padmavati Ek Hai.

I rather enjoyed my papist bum boy childhood, if I’m honest.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

I rather enjoyed my papist bum boy childhood, if I’m honest.

But papists don't play cricket, C. And they haven't really understood the Divine since the early Chruch wiped out mystical Christianity.

Anyway, made steak tartare for my mate last night. He got most of the bits but forgot the capers for me. In the buying of which, I found pwoppa Lea and Perrins whereas my mate had only ever had Heinz - sans anchois, would you believe.

So using my magic ingredients, I've given him the best tartare he's ever had.

Liked it so much, we're munching it together again tonight. Just got back with 700g of minced fillet.

Oh, and having it his way in a bowl, as opposed to my way of making poncy disks on a plate using stacked up egg poachers, means we can bung more than one egg yolk in each. Tops.

FTR, I don't ever eat Indian cows as they're holy. I only eat unholy, often mad, Gora cows.

[Burney]

But papists don't play cricket, C. And they haven't really understood the Divine since the early Chruch wiped out mystical Christianity.

Anyway, made steak tartare for my mate last night. He got most of the bits but forgot the capers for me. In the buying of which, I found pwoppa Lea and Perrins whereas my mate had only ever had Heinz - sans anchois, would you believe.

So using my magic ingredients, I've given him the best tartare he's ever had.

Liked it so much, we're munching it together again tonight. Just got back with 700g of minced fillet.

Oh, and having it his way in a bowl, as opposed to my way of making poncy disks on a plate using stacked up egg poachers, means we can bung more than one egg yolk in each. Tops.

FTR, I don't ever eat Indian cows as they're holy. I only eat unholy, often mad, Gora cows.

Nonsense. Both Rahul Dravid and Virat Kohli learned their cricket at Jesuit schools. Many, many great cricketers have been Catholic.

And you ought to read Tom Holland's 'Dominion'.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Nonsense. Both Rahul Dravid and Virat Kohli learned their cricket at Jesuit schools. Many, many great cricketers have been Catholic.

And you ought to read Tom Holland's 'Dominion'.

Yeah, but they grew up in a Vedic culture. I mean, durr.

Papists have been going 3x longer than Sikhs, but which produce the best spinners? No Paddy even comes close to Monty Panesar, let alone the true greats.

But I'll google that book and get back to you.

[Sir C]

But papists don't play cricket, C. And they haven't really understood the Divine since the early Chruch wiped out mystical Christianity.

Anyway, made steak tartare for my mate last night. He got most of the bits but forgot the capers for me. In the buying of which, I found pwoppa Lea and Perrins whereas my mate had only ever had Heinz - sans anchois, would you believe.

So using my magic ingredients, I've given him the best tartare he's ever had.

Liked it so much, we're munching it together again tonight. Just got back with 700g of minced fillet.

Oh, and having it his way in a bowl, as opposed to my way of making poncy disks on a plate using stacked up egg poachers, means we can bung more than one egg yolk in each. Tops.

FTR, I don't ever eat Indian cows as they're holy. I only eat unholy, often mad, Gora cows.

You want to be hand cutting that beef, chum. I use the two knife method, personally, but you dice away as you see fit.

[Burney]

Yeah, but they grew up in a Vedic culture. I mean, durr.

Papists have been going 3x longer than Sikhs, but which produce the best spinners? No Paddy even comes close to Monty Panesar, let alone the true greats.

But I'll google that book and get back to you.

Don Bradman said Bill O'Reilly (a Catholic) was the best bowler he ever faced. See also: much of Sri Lankan cricket.

You really aren't going to win this one.