The strange thing was that these three entities were one and the same. A bizarre Holy Trinity, if you will.

In other news, I'm now 24 hours into my low carb nonsense and I'm struggling. Lunch, as I understand it, is to be cucumber batons with hummus and hard boiled eggs.

Dinner is to be steak and salad. Steak and salad? So that's steak, right, with lettuce? Steak and lettuce isn't a dinner ffs!