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Thread: 'Man finds own amputated leg on cigarette packets without consent'

  1. #51
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Pipe smokers are proper wronguns, though.
    I agree.

    David Prescott, the kitchen floor shítter, smoked a pipe. What a ****.
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  2. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    The Wolf and the Watchman? Oh, yes. That's all good fun. I must say, I did laugh when the author first doubled down on the grimness by making the poor chap become the shít-eating sexual plaything of perverted toffs.
    Aye. It conjured images which I cannot now un-see

    It did become rather weighed down by the need to add an unexpected dramatic twist to even the most peripheral sub-plot. I think the author had the last laugh though by managing to fashion, after so much dante-esque horror, something approaching a happy ending

  3. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    Aye. It conjured images which I cannot now un-see

    It did become rather weighed down by the need to add an unexpected dramatic twist to even the most peripheral sub-plot. I think the author had the last laugh though by managing to fashion, after so much dante-esque horror, something approaching a happy ending
    I did think that removing all his teeth so they could all orally sodomise him without negative consequences was a nice touch.

  4. #54
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I did think that removing all his teeth so they could all orally sodomise him without negative consequences was a nice touch.
    I reckon if I wrote a modern noir under a Scandi nom-de-plume in which the protaganist kills his victims by plucking out an eyeball and sodomising the bloody socket, it would cause quite a stir - shame I can't write.

    You do it b and buy me a beer for the idea!

  5. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    I reckon if I wrote a modern noir under a Scandi nom-de-plume in which the protaganist kills his victims by plucking out an eyeball and sodomising the bloody socket, it would cause quite a stir - shame I can't write.

    You do it b and buy me a beer for the idea!
    Hmmm. Not being a Swede, I'm not sure I could muster the requisite levels of gory perversion, h. That said, I do like the idea of you - who have offered people the most baroque sado-sexual tortures on here over the years - getting all queasy over a book.

    You're a sensitive wee flower underneath it all, h, aren't you?

  6. #56
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    No, I'm afraid it is still cool to smoke. I have a daughter and four nieces over 18. All are achingly cool. All smoke. All of them took up smoking in the period when these images were on packets. None of them cares about the pictures because young people don't think they'll ever die and so don't think such things apply to them.
    You err... wouldn't...err.. happen to err... have any pictures of said nieces?
    'Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing
    But different than the day before'

    'Met a dwarf that was no good, dressed like Little Red Riding Hood'

    'Now you're unemployed, all non-void
    Walkin' round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd'

  7. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    You're a sensitive wee flower underneath it all, h, aren't you?
    You needn't think that kind of sweet talk's getting me into that shed of yours

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