There aren't any options for test top 3 who can play a better forward defensive than they can play a reverse-switch-Dilscoop. Yet we're still getting hammered by the Convicts in the slogfest.

Sport's shît. Kronke will have us mid-table in 3 years. With no top 3 and our two proper bowlers about to retire, you can forget winning the Ashes with a bunch of bit part slogger-pie-chucker-keepers.

How's the rugby going? Didn't that all start to go tits up a couple of year ago when Itoje stopped looking world class.

The tennis will be like the '80s and '90s. No male Brit in the 2nd week.

Only the F1's going well and that's going so well it's too boring to watch.

'My name is ODI team, king of kings.
Look on my slogs, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.