I see Afghanistan and Bangladesh are competing in the 'Backwards Third-World Dump'

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

A bit like how the US breezed into Afghanistan in 2001, knocked over the bad guys and , um, 18 years later are still failing to get control.

And ONE holy river flows through Croydon. The mighty Wandle.

Wow. I didn't know we had a holy river. Where is it in relation to East Croydon station or the Whitgift Centre? Does it have chillum-smoking and meditating monks on its banks?

Still not as many as Bangladesh, mind. And there aren't many tigers, elephants or holy cows in Croydon.