I take it we all saw this?

[Monty92]

"So, Miss Turkey, Amine Gulse, what first attracted you to the £350,000-a-week footballer?"

Having spent most of my free time in recent years furtively following Mesut and Amine as they walked hand-in-hand through Hampstead Heath, witnessing the sheer adulation on her face as Mesut lovingly fashioned necklaces from daisies and effortlessly dinked loose footballs backs to starry eyed youngsters, I can vouch for the authenticity of their marriage.

[Ash]

Having spent most of my free time in recent years furtively following Mesut and Amine as they walked hand-in-hand through Hampstead Heath, witnessing the sheer adulation on her face as Mesut lovingly fashioned necklaces from daisies and effortlessly dinked loose footballs backs to starry eyed youngsters, I can vouch for the authenticity of their marriage.

Very nice. Did you compose it all yourself?