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Thread: Hmmm. Churches in France do seem to be suffering a terrible run of luck lately.

  1. #81
    Quote Originally Posted by Pokster View Post
    95% v 5%??????? I would say that is about my default position on this
    Aaaaand there we have it. A confession at last.

    Your apology is accepted but this is the final time, d'you hear me?

  2. #82
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    In Limerick? They'll hang you for a witch if you go in talking Dublin.
    Hmmm. Fair point. I'm probably best off doing posh English. Their hands will instinctively be drawn to their forelocks the minute I speak and they shall then be as putty in my hands.

    Figuratively, of course. I'm not going to touch the ghastly culchies, am I?

    Good God! Can you imagine?? There isn't enough Dettol in the world.

  3. #83
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Indeed! My poor ancestors who hadn't an arse to their trousers but were expected to hand over what meagre pittance they had so that some smooth-faced priest could sit on his well-fed rump and wear silk.

    And I'm expected to pay again?! Fúck that.
    And this smooth-faced devil will have sodomized the poor children too b. Let us never forget the sodomizing of the children. ( filthy little urchins were probably gagging f'r it!)

  4. #84
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I have been into Notre Dame plusieurs fois, mon mec, and I can assure you that no gendarme has ever had the temerity to attmept to lay dirty, garlic-stained doigts upon my person. I've walked in for easter Sunday mass without being stopped, for God's sake. When did all this security start all of a sudden and, perhaps more pertinently, why?

    Furthermore, starting a fire in Notre Dame may appear tricky to you, because you're an ageing hippy, not a full time professional terrorist whose actual job it is to fúck shít up. I mean, show me a human heart and I'll tell you that it's impossible for me to transplant it into a different human body, but then I'm not a fúcking heart surgeon, am I?
    Can't honestly remember from spring 2 years ago, but certainly the, no, actually, spring 2 years ago. Security. 2 mates up from Dreux. One had to wait outside with the beers in our bag because of security.

    That's the first time I'd been there since the '90s.

    So some time between spring '97 and spring 2017. But they have 100% had them for the last two years. Who knows? Perhaps in the same way that 9/11 led to airport security, all the attacks in France caused ND bouncers.

    But you still can't answer 2 points.

    1. How does the guy get over the fences to the altar and then get to the loft (assuming he knew exactly where he's going) with a room full of tourists filming him?

    2. Given anyone who got caught doing that would get life, why take that risk when you could off some kaffirs which those sort of muzzies think allah likes more? Why not just fücking suicide bomb ND. Get to heaven, go down in history, lots of dead kaffirs as well as a fücked church? If you believe that ****, that's what you do.

    But there is no way one or more people climbed over the fences in front of the altar and went up 20m of stairs, started a fire, came back and got out. None.

  5. #85
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    And this smooth-faced devil will have sodomized the poor children too b. Let us never forget the sodomizing of the children. ( filthy little urchins were probably gagging f'r it!)
    Did you know, h, that as a child I narrowly avoided* being bummed by one of Ireland's most infamous nonce priests? We holidayed in a place in Wexford for three years on the trot. Now the local priest was a chap called Fr Sean Fortune and the first time my father met the chap who owned the place in which we were staying, he was advised to take me to Mass not at the local church, but at the nearby church in Hook, instead, since the local priest was known to have an unhealthy fondness for young chaps my age.

    My father had no interest in wasting his valuable holiday time going to Mass, so the advice was academic, but, had my father or mother been churchgoing types and a range of other somewhat unlikely events taken place, I could easily have been buggered by this horrible ****.

    sen-fortune-f523fdea-572d-464c-b9c6-20203f27d28-resize-750.jpeg

    *Came nowhere near
    Last edited by Burney; 04-16-2019 at 02:57 PM.

  6. #86
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Why are you banging on and on about the loft? You know precisely fúck nothing about how or where the fire started. Three blurry pictures oin the BBC website do not make you a qualified fire investigator.
    Because that's what I was told was being said. My mate in the 4e went out there when he saw the flames from the window. He took me some pics.

    When it was clear the fire had started up high, I blamed the scaffolding and started slagging off whichever company was doing the repairs. And he'd said the word was that it wasn't thescaffolding and workmen, that it was the loft.

    They'd been having some problem with the electrics and lighting. So they'd got some generators up there and the place was over run with wires and 4-ways and the like.

    I have no idea how true this is, but it looks the most plausible from the little clips I've seen.

    The scaff was over the roof and around the spire, but you couldn't get to that unless you had a key to get the the bits between the fence and the walls. I don't know where the workmen entered, but anyone trying to get over fences and then clambering up in daylight when it's swarming with tourists on the river side, on the little restaurant side, or in the park at the back (as well as the front with the police and queues and bouncers) is gonna have the filth called on him before he's 1/4 way up.

    And the loft is gonna be over the massive wooden beams (that took 42 acres of forest, apparently) and under the spire.

    If we're playing what looks most likely, it's the loft below the spire.

  7. #87
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Hmmm. Fair point. I'm probably best off doing posh English. Their hands will instinctively be drawn to their forelocks the minute I speak and they shall then be as putty in my hands.

    Figuratively, of course. I'm not going to touch the ghastly culchies, am I?

    Good God! Can you imagine?? There isn't enough Dettol in the world.
    Dunno mate, all you thick paddies are the same to me.

  8. #88
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Tommy Terrorist might have had a bow and arrows with flaming ends like in Robin Hood and shot them into the loft. Because obviously we know, beyond any doubt, that the fire started in the loft. Save the millions of euros you'd expect the goverhment to spend on an investigation, painstakingly analysing the evidence with the benefit of centuries of scientific learning, oh no, you don't need any of that because pokster and ganpati saw 15 seconds of footage taken on someone's mobile phone in the fúcking dark and they know exactly what happened.
    Here you go.

    It's from Le Monde.

    Cited in the Sun and Boston Globe and a few others:

    The restoration of the iconic spire and lead roof was the first phase of the massive 20-year renovation project, that began in July 2018 with the installation of 500 tonne scaffolding, reports Le Monde in Paris.

    The paper says that the installation was "about to be completed on Monday when a fire broke out in the attic".

    A "stray flame" is thought to have sparked the fire in the loft at 7pm local time (6pm BST).

    "It appears that it all began as a relatively small fire linked to a stray flame in the roof," said an emergency services source.

    See? I reckon Le Monde speaking to the firemen probably have a better clue than Awimb comspiracy theorists.

  9. #89
    Quote Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult View Post
    Here you go.

    It's from Le Monde.

    Cited in the Sun and Boston Globe and a few others:

    The restoration of the iconic spire and lead roof was the first phase of the massive 20-year renovation project, that began in July 2018 with the installation of 500 tonne scaffolding, reports Le Monde in Paris.

    The paper says that the installation was "about to be completed on Monday when a fire broke out in the attic".

    A "stray flame" is thought to have sparked the fire in the loft at 7pm local time (6pm BST).

    "It appears that it all began as a relatively small fire linked to a stray flame in the roof," said an emergency services source.

    See? I reckon Le Monde speaking to the firemen probably have a better clue than Awimb comspiracy theorists.
    Thank God there's no need for an investgation. It's all been sorted it while the smoke's still rising.

    This has got llahu Akbar written all over it and you JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

  10. #90
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Tommy Terrorist might have had a bow and arrows with flaming ends like in Robin Hood and shot them into the loft. Because obviously we know, beyond any doubt, that the fire started in the loft. Save the millions of euros you'd expect the goverhment to spend on an investigation, painstakingly analysing the evidence with the benefit of centuries of scientific learning, oh no, you don't need any of that because pokster and ganpati saw 15 seconds of footage taken on someone's mobile phone in the fúcking dark and they know exactly what happened.
    No.

    It's because it's what Le Monde and the Froggie firefighters are saying.

    And it's light at 7pm in Paris now.

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