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Thread: WES’s restaurant review - Kiln, Soho

  1. #1

    WES’s restaurant review - Kiln, Soho

    Firstly, the food. We ordered three types of skewers, a fried greens dish, one fish and two meat curries plus their signature glass noodle dish and rice. Let’s start with the rice; they have one type only and it’s brown. If you have never eaten brown rice, you aren’t missing anything. It was dry and awful. The skewers were all good, the curries varied from average to good. The fried greens were nice and the glass noodle dish appeared to be their version of Pad Thai and it was very average.

    Now the general experience. Awful. Utterly awful. Small, cramped, hot, loud and their idea of an enjoyable meal is to throw as many dishes at you in any particular order as quickly as possible. A family of four arrived, ordered and ate in just over half an hour. It bordered on uncivilised.

    Quite why anyone would want to eat there is beyond me. Had the food been exceptional I could have tolerated the appalling ambiance but it really wasn’t.

    Summary
    a) Food 6/10
    b) Ambiance 0/10
    c) Monty needs two new hobbies

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    Firstly, the food. We ordered three types of skewers, a fried greens dish, one fish and two meat curries plus their signature glass noodle dish and rice. Let’s start with the rice; they have one type only and it’s brown. If you have never eaten brown rice, you aren’t missing anything. It was dry and awful. The skewers were all good, the curries varied from average to good. The fried greens were nice and the glass noodle dish appeared to be their version of Pad Thai and it was very average.

    Now the general experience. Awful. Utterly awful. Small, cramped, hot, loud and their idea of an enjoyable meal is to throw as many dishes at you in any particular order as quickly as possible. A family of four arrived, ordered and ate in just over half an hour. It bordered on uncivilised.

    Quite why anyone would want to eat there is beyond me. Had the food been exceptional I could have tolerated the appalling ambiance but it really wasn’t.

    Summary
    a) Food 6/10
    b) Ambiance 0/10
    c) Monty needs two new hobbies
    As regards c) I'm trying to gather support for burning him in a wicker man in order to prevent Tottenham winning the Champions League.

    I take it that, after last night, you're in?
    Last edited by Burney; 04-10-2019 at 08:28 AM.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
    Firstly, the food. We ordered three types of skewers, a fried greens dish, one fish and two meat curries plus their signature glass noodle dish and rice. Let’s start with the rice; they have one type only and it’s brown. If you have never eaten brown rice, you aren’t missing anything. It was dry and awful. The skewers were all good, the curries varied from average to good. The fried greens were nice and the glass noodle dish appeared to be their version of Pad Thai and it was very average.

    Now the general experience. Awful. Utterly awful. Small, cramped, hot, loud and their idea of an enjoyable meal is to throw as many dishes at you in any particular order as quickly as possible. A family of four arrived, ordered and ate in just over half an hour. It bordered on uncivilised.

    Quite why anyone would want to eat there is beyond me. Had the food been exceptional I could have tolerated the appalling ambiance but it really wasn’t.

    Summary
    a) Food 6/10
    b) Ambiance 0/10
    c) Monty needs two new hobbies
    The restaurant experience can be quite a subjective matter, I'd say, given that tastes vary. That's [probably why we have many different types of restaurant. One man's 'noisy, cramped and loud' is another man's 'bustling, buzzing atmosphere'.

    Certainly some seem to enjoy the Kiln experience more than you.

    https://www.standard.co.uk/go/london...-a3860331.html

    Personally, whilst I have enjoyed Kiln, anyone choosing it as a destination for diner en famille is either a bit thick or sadly out of touch with the London restaurant scene.
    Last edited by Sir C; 04-10-2019 at 09:11 AM.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    The restaurant experience can be quite a subjective matter, I'd say, given that tastes very. That's [probably why we have many different types of restaurant. One man's 'noisy, cramped and loud' is another man's 'bustling, buzzing atmosphere'.

    Certainly some seem to enjoy the Kiln experience more than you.

    https://www.standard.co.uk/go/london...-a3860331.html

    Personally, whilst I have enjoyed Kiln, anyone choosing it as a destination for diner en famille is either a bit thick or sadly out of touch with the London restaurant scene.
    I must admit that being cramped or in any way uncomfortable is something I cannot abide in a restaurant. If I want to eat while jostling elbows with people, I'll eat street food and pay street food prices. I don't care if the food tastes like the Virgin Mary's inner thigh, if you can't make your clientele comfortable, you can get to fúck.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I must admit that being cramped or in any way uncomfortable is something I cannot abide in a restaurant. If I want to eat while jostling elbows with people, I'll eat street food and pay street food prices. I don't care if the food tastes like the Virgin Mary's inner thigh, if you can't make your clientele comfortable, you can get to fúck.
    I tend to agree, but probably wouldn't have felt the same when I was 25.

    Consider one of my very favourite restarant experiences - I love a Saturday lunch at the oyster bar at J Sheekey. One sits at the counter, elbow to elbow with the stranger next to you. The food is competent, decent seafood - one might start with a dozen natives and a glass of champagne, and move on to a nice piece of turbot with a beurre blanc and pommes allumettes. The service with be efficient and charming and the food fine, or rather better than fine. Nothing ground-breaking there, but I love it for the sense of history in the beautiful art deco surroundings, the sociability of often falling into conversation with other bon viveurs of similar tastes and the feeling of timelessness. Chaps have been doing the same thing in J Sheekey for 100 years... others will tell you that there are better seafood restaurants in London, or that they hate sitting at a counter, or that J Sheekey is overpriced, and they would be correct. Yet it is the thing I enjoy most.

    WES prefers an all-you-can eat buffet prepared by slave labour in a concrete hell hole, so fúck him and his moose.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I tend to agree, but probably wouldn't have felt the same when I was 25.

    Consider one of my very favourite restarant experiences - I love a Saturday lunch at the oyster bar at J Sheekey. One sits at the counter, elbow to elbow with the stranger next to you. The food is competent, decent seafood - one might start with a dozen natives and a glass of champagne, and move on to a nice piece of turbot with a beurre blanc and pommes allumettes. The service with be efficient and charming and the food fine, or rather better than fine. Nothing ground-breaking there, but I love it for the sense of history in the beautiful art deco surroundings, the sociability of often falling into conversation with other bon viveurs of similar tastes and the feeling of timelessness. Chaps have been doing the same thing in J Sheekey for 100 years... others will tell you that there are better seafood restaurants in London, or that they hate sitting at a counter, or that J Sheekey is overpriced, and they would be correct. Yet it is the thing I enjoy most.

    WES prefers an all-you-can eat buffet prepared by slave labour in a concrete hell hole, so fúck him and his moose.
    I wondered how long into your well constructed post it would be before the moose ****er was banged to rights
    Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I tend to agree, but probably wouldn't have felt the same when I was 25.

    Consider one of my very favourite restarant experiences - I love a Saturday lunch at the oyster bar at J Sheekey. One sits at the counter, elbow to elbow with the stranger next to you. The food is competent, decent seafood - one might start with a dozen natives and a glass of champagne, and move on to a nice piece of turbot with a beurre blanc and pommes allumettes. The service with be efficient and charming and the food fine, or rather better than fine. Nothing ground-breaking there, but I love it for the sense of history in the beautiful art deco surroundings, the sociability of often falling into conversation with other bon viveurs of similar tastes and the feeling of timelessness. Chaps have been doing the same thing in J Sheekey for 100 years... others will tell you that there are better seafood restaurants in London, or that they hate sitting at a counter, or that J Sheekey is overpriced, and they would be correct. Yet it is the thing I enjoy most.

    WES prefers an all-you-can eat buffet prepared by slave labour in a concrete hell hole, so fúck him and his moose.
    Yes, I get that. And I have also enjoyed various meals taken at a counter - tapas in Seville springs to mind. However, I think there is an element of tradition there that you eloquently describe and which balances any discomfort.

    My issue is with many of these places these days that offer discomfort and rather tend to sling food at you under the guise of 'bustle' and 'atmosphere', but are in fact just getting the greatest possible number of covers into a small space and keeping their margins low by not providing the amenities I consider essential to an enjoyable dining experience.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Pokster View Post
    I wondered how long into your well constructed post it would be before the moose ****er was banged to rights
    The fellow positively has a doctorate in 'how to be wrong about everything', I swear to it.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Yes, I get that. And I have also enjoyed various meals taken at a counter - tapas in Seville springs to mind. However, I think there is an element of tradition there that you eloquently describe and which balances any discomfort.

    My issue is with many of these places these days that offer discomfort and rather tend to sling food at you under the guise of 'bustle' and 'atmosphere', but are in fact just getting the greatest possible number of covers into a small space and keeping their margins low by not providing the amenities I consider essential to an enjoyable dining experience.
    Indeed. These places are not for us. Happily we still have the likes of The Ivy, The Wolseley, The Delaunay or even Zedel to deliver the predictably comfortable experience we so enjoy.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Indeed. These places are not for us. Happily we still have the likes of The Ivy, The Wolseley, The Delaunay or even Zedel to deliver the predictably comfortable experience we so enjoy.
    I took E to Zedel for her birthday last year. I had a dozen oysters and choucroute. She seemed faintly disgusted by my choices.
    Young people are so conservative.

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