Forgive me foodWIMB for I am not worthy. For at least a year

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I have been using pre-chopped frozen onions.

I just couldn't bear the pain of chopping them myself anymore

[Ash]

Bloody hell, Herbs.

Are you going to tell us you like to wear a nappy as well?

[Sir C]

I have been using pre-chopped frozen onions.

I just couldn't bear the pain of chopping them myself anymore

I rather enjoy the routine of it. Each post-work evening begins in the same way, each and every day:

1. Collect eggs from girls.
2. Feed cats.
3. Pour glass of wine.
4. Select podcast/audiobook.
5. Chop the onions and the garlic.

In a volatile world, there is a lot to be said for calming predictability.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Bloody hell, Herbs.

Are you going to tell us you like to wear a nappy as well?

I'm like the lion in Wizard of Oz Ash. I talk tough and can behave with belligerent malice toward people of a gentle demeanour when I want to bully them but the prospect of chopping onions and the stinging eyes makes me tremble like a girl

You see? There I go again

[Burney]

I rather enjoy the routine of it. Each post-work evening begins in the same way, each and every day:

1. Collect eggs from girls.
2. Feed cats.
3. Pour glass of wine.
4. Select podcast/audiobook.
5. Chop the onions and the garlic.

In a volatile world, there is a lot to be said for calming predictability.

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

[Burney]

I'm like the lion in Wizard of Oz Ash. I talk tough and can behave with belligerent malice toward people of a gentle demeanour when I want to bully them but the prospect of chopping onions and the stinging eyes makes me tremble like a girl

You see? There I go again

I’ve found that wearing contact lenses renders me entirely immune to onions. So there’s your answer.
That, or actually behaving like a fúcking man, of course.

[Luis Anaconda]

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

You need this www.wreckroom.co.uk

[Sir C]

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

You've met my wife, right?

She does attempt to engage me in conversation on occasion. I find a withering look and turning the volume up serves to dissuade her from this regrettable course.

[Sir C]

I’ve found that wearing contact lenses renders me entirely immune to onions. So there’s your answer.
That, or actually behaving like a fúcking man, of course.

I tried to get them in today. Failed. Now my eyeballs hurt.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

Come now b, feigning interest in the GLW's chitter-chatter is easy. Just punctuate her conversion with any of the following "Good Lord, Well I never, Mercy Me, Really!" - all delivered with a hint of sympathetic incredulity of course.