Have you ever had one of those hangovers that seem wholly disproportionate to your

[Sir C]

Yes, but that’s your Semitic inheritance, innit? No-one would expect a Jew to be able to take his drink, whereas I am of hardy Northern European stock and can normally shrug off quantities that would kill the likes of you.

Isn't the blood of christian babies intoxicating, then? They drink that stuff by the gallon, apparently.

[Burney]

Isn't the blood of christian babies intoxicating, then? They drink that stuff by the gallon, apparently.

I’ve no idea, to be honest. Mind you, I’d rather drink Christian baby blood than their fùcking awful wine.

[Monty92]

Ah, there you are. I wouldn't wish to upset you, but several people here spent yesterday afternoon fantasising about eviscerating you with a rusty nail.

They pretend to be your friend but secretly they all want you to be tortured to death.

Let's meet up and talk about it. At a disused barn down a dark lane. I will bring power tools and pliers.

You just bring yourself, your internal organs and your blood.

What is so awfully silly about Herbie's claims that he missed his chance to track me down since we moved from the tight confines of Highbury is that he knows where I live: I live on the same road as Mesut Ozil, as I may occasionally mention.

And failing that, if he can't find me, he certainly knows where my mother lives. And indeed where her tight confines are

[Sir C]

I’ve no idea, to be honest. Mind you, I’d rather drink Christian baby blood than their fùcking awful wine.

Jewine? There is jewine? What, made out of water at a wedding?

Lebanese wine is good, and they píss in a similar pot, surely?

[Burney]

Jewine? There is jewine? What, made out of water at a wedding?

Lebanese wine is good, and they píss in a similar pot, surely?

It’s sweet red wine.

It’s an offence to wine.

https://www.waitrosecellar.com/desse...iABEgK2__D_BwE

[Sir C]

It’s sweet red wine.

It’s an offence to wine.

https://www.waitrosecellar.com/desse...iABEgK2__D_BwE

Hmm. Mind you, we had that Italian red dessert wine at my wedding and that was terrific stuff.

[Burney]

Hmm. Mind you, we had that Italian red dessert wine at my wedding and that was terrific stuff.

Yes. But that was made by Italians. This is not.

Basically, our Hebrew chums may be dab hands at stuff like accountancy and whatnot, but should not be allowed near the manufacture of alcohol under any circumstances.

[Sir C]

Yes. But that was made by Italians. This is not.

Basically, our Hebrew chums may be dab hands at stuff like accountancy and whatnot, but should not be allowed near the manufacture of alcohol under any circumstances.

They're good at usury and genital mutilation.

Grand bunch of lads.

[Burney]

They're good at usury and genital mutilation.

Grand bunch of lads.

Yes. Although no-one’s idea of a good night involves those things, does it?

You’ll be happy to know the third pint is bringing matters under control.

I may need a kip, though.

[Sir C]

Yes. Although no-one’s idea of a good night involves those things, does it?

You’ll be happy to know the third pint is bringing matters under control.

I may need a kip, though.

If I were you I'd finish with a port and brandy. Just to settle the lads.