ready meal review #1

[Sir C]

Well I once saved one our ours (Meave) from our cat and she has never once showed a shred of gratitude. She lives the life of a queen thanks to my family.

Why was your cat threatening a chicken, you sick fúck? Why are your cats not trained to see the chickens as a part of the family? Are you mentally unwell?

[Burney]

That is troubling. I hope you took the cannibal out of the gene pool?

No. He lives yet. I regard him with a degree of awe and respect, the mad bástard

[Burney]

Why was your cat threatening a chicken, you sick fúck? Why are your cats not trained to see the chickens as a part of the family? Are you mentally unwell?

I'm more concerned at his inability to spell Maeve

[Rich]

Why was your cat threatening a chicken, you sick fúck? Why are your cats not trained to see the chickens as a part of the family? Are you mentally unwell?

Well he was about 6 months old and had just learnt to hunt sparrows: a pursuit which he was/is awfully fond of to this day.

Meave and friends had an outer, fenced area in which they could run during the day. Freddie discovered that this fence was easily scaled and did just that.

Meave and co now have a completely enclosed run and Freddie can just watch them & get frustrated.

[Rich]

I'm more concerned at his inability to spell Maeve

Thanks for your concern. However, that is spelt correctly, in her case.

[Burney]

Well he was about 6 months old and had just learnt to hunt sparrows: a pursuit which he was/is awfully fond of to this day.

Meave and friends had an outer, fenced area in which they could run during the day. Freddie discovered that this fence was easily scaled and did just that.

Meave and co now have a completely enclosed run and Freddie can just watch them & get frustrated.

My cat keeps bringing in the same frog. I've rescued him four times now. He doesn't even look scared now, just píssed off.

[Ash]

Well he was about 6 months old and had just learnt to hunt sparrows: a pursuit which he was/is awfully fond of to this day.

Meave and friends had an outer, fenced area in which they could run during the day. Freddie discovered that this fence was easily scaled and did just that.

Meave and co now have a completely enclosed run and Freddie can just watch them & get frustrated.

Was Maeve named after the character in Westworld? Does she run a house for ladies of negotiable affection?

[Rich]

My cat keeps bringing in the same frog. I've rescued him four times now. He doesn't even look scared now, just píssed off.

I’m not sure what this says about your cat’s hunting prowess. Ours tears his prey to shreds and tends to leave the head of the bird only (and hundreds of feathers). Perhaps it’s time to release the frog further afield?

Freddie often brings mice in alive. I feel terrible taking them away from him as he folornly searches the house for it after I’ve confiscated it.

[Burney]

I’m not sure what this says about your cat’s hunting prowess. Ours tears his prey to shreds and tends to leave the head of the bird only (and hundreds of feathers). Perhaps it’s time to release the frog further afield?

Freddie often brings mice in alive. I feel terrible taking them away from him as he folornly searches the house for it after I’ve confiscated it.

The frog lives in next door's pond.

Every cat I've ever known struggles with actually killing frogs. Their lack of a clearly-defined neck for the cat's preferred coup de gráce is the reason, apparently.

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

A classic case of mandated food labelling being misleading. Pound to a penny that's mostly the coconut milk. Coconuts are very high in healthy saturated fats.

Or they just poured a load of lard in there for a laugh, of course.

Is there such thing as healthy saturated fats?