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Thread: I dreamed I lived in a stalinist state where keeping chickens had become mandatory

  1. #1

    I dreamed I lived in a stalinist state where keeping chickens had become mandatory

    and I was in the dock charged with "failure to keep chickens". I argued that I would only be in breach if I had attempted to keep chickens but had failed. The judge, Berni I think, called my defence an impudence and jailed me for two years.

    Immediately upon my release I was arrested again - for failing to keep chickens for two years

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    and I was in the dock charged with "failure to keep chickens". I argued that I would only be in breach if I had attempted to keep chickens but had failed. The judge, Berni I think, called my defence an impudence and jailed me for two years.

    Immediately upon my release I was arrested again - for failing to keep chickens for two years
    You non-chicken-keeping cúnt.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    You non-chicken-keeping cúnt.
    Well at least I'm not having homo-erotic dreams about defecating demons which is clearly a simple metaphor for your subliminal desire to do sodomy to another man!

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    You non-chicken-keeping cúnt.
    Why does one 'keep' bees, chicken and fish? Why does one not simply 'have' them?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Why does one 'keep' bees, chicken and fish? Why does one not simply 'have' them?
    Is it because they are dependent?

    I'm down to one chicken. Poor, lonely Millicent. I don't want to get new ones until she dies, but it's sad to see a poor old hen trotting around without any sisters to keep her company.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    Well at least I'm not having homo-erotic dreams about defecating demons which is clearly a simple metaphor for your subliminal desire to do sodomy to another man!
    Have you ever pulled jobbies out of a urinal, h? I bet you have.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Is it because they are dependent?

    I'm down to one chicken. Poor, lonely Millicent. I don't want to get new ones until she dies, but it's sad to see a poor old hen trotting around without any sisters to keep her company.
    I don't think bees are dependent. They do their bee thing and we just provide the hive and nick their honey.

    I have been considering bees recently. But it's a lot of arseing about and getting stung just for honey given that I probably eat about a quarter of a jar of honey a year.

    I could make mead, I suppose.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Why does one 'keep' bees, chicken and fish? Why does one not simply 'have' them?
    I have fish.

    I try to keep them but the wee fúckers keep dying with alarming regularity.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Have you ever pulled jobbies out of a urinal, h? I bet you have.
    Pulled 'em out of yer mum's arse c

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Have you ever pulled jobbies out of a urinal, h? I bet you have.
    When your nose falls off you can do that job
    Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar

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