No problem. This is the thing, you see. Too many priests these days behave like they're there to act as moral arbiters when in fact they should see themselves as equivalent to a good lawyer or accountant - there to use their professional skills to help their clients find the loopholes that get them out of the shít. There's a good business in it, I reckon.
“Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”
Look at the temple carvings in India - Shiva, Parvati and Crew are bang up for it.
You have 7 Chakras. The highest, on the crown of your head, connects you straight up to the Divine. That's why it's good to get off your tits to make it easier, hence all the sadhus caning chillums of charas.
But if you don't have access to top drawer hallucinogens and/or you're not very good/used to being on the spiritual plane, you can also connect with the Divine through your first, lowest chakra which deals with the genitals.
God is pure Love so (S)He wants you to get your end away, cos you will hopefully experience the feeling of love, even if it's just "I love her tits and I love the feeling of shooting my load on them."
So the more shagging you do, not only do you get closer to God, but you raise the consciousness level of humanity as a whole leading to our species' spiritual evolution.
The temple carvings are full of all sorts - threesomes, blowjobs, anal, weird positions that my body would struggle to get into.
Convert, C. Leave behind these moralistic guilt trips imposed by a patriarchal nobility who didn't want the plebs nobbing their totty.
Embrace the religion of sex, drugs and higher planes of consciousness.