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Thread: You know the old jokes about getting older and your prostate swelling,

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    You sound like a fúcking homo all the same.

    Liquid intake to a minimum after 9pm ffs.
    You think that's gay - check out Chief Arrowhead's post in this same thread. He's been diagnosed with a stupid, made-up sleeping disease that requires him to be strapped to some kind of machine while he sleeps

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Chief Arrowhead View Post
    Could be Sleep Apnea.

    Lack of a deep sleep contributes to a lack of oxygen, which causes your kidneys to tense up, which increases the urge to pee. I had this issue about three years ago, was diagnosed, and now am on a CPAP machine. Now I frequently sleep through the night, many times waking up in the morning in the same position I started!

    Before, I had the unavoidable desire to nod off at all times of the day, including around 9:00am. Nowadays seven hours of sleep has me refreshed. Changed my life.
    A CPAP machine? Is that like an iron lung or a dialysis machine? Sounds nasty.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    Presumably you'd render me semi-conscious so you can f*ck Maureen's corpse while I'm forced to watch before finishing me off, so to speak?
    You have a deeply perverse imagination. Fancy hooking up?

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    You sound like a fúcking homo all the same.
    ...and possibly a bed-wetter.


    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    Liquid intake to a minimum after 9pm ffs.
    He probably has just one small sherry or pineau before bedtime, sw. You know, that type of person.
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    You think that's gay - check out Chief Arrowhead's post in this same thread. He's been diagnosed with a stupid, made-up sleeping disease that requires him to be strapped to some kind of machine while he sleeps
    I'm not wearing this in bed.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped.../7/7f/CPAP.png

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I can assure you he isn't, i.
    alternatively, get yourself one of these

    https://www.stadiumpal.com/product/stadium-pal-kit/
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    You think that's gay - check out Chief Arrowhead's post in this same thread. He's been diagnosed with a stupid, made-up sleeping disease that requires him to be strapped to some kind of machine while he sleeps
    He's American, m, you expect it of him. You're British - we won the bloody war you know

    Hi Chief

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    You think that's gay - check out Chief Arrowhead's post in this same thread. He's been diagnosed with a stupid, made-up sleeping disease that requires him to be strapped to some kind of machine while he sleeps
    He's American. That alone is an excuse of sorts.

  9. #19

    I am a cancer expert c. It is critical that you ignore any symptoms you may have.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    My doctor told me he was going to check my prostate once and I agreed.

    Never, ever again. I swear he shoved a wardrobe up my fundament.

    I'll take the cancer thanks.
    Running to your doctor like a baby is exactly what the cancer wants. Ignore it it and it will sulk and go away.

    I'm pissing six or seven times a night, with excruciating pain right there were the prostate is but it needn't think it's going to win!

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    Running to your doctor like a baby is exactly what the cancer wants. Ignore it it and it will sulk and go away.

    I'm pissing six or seven times a night, with excruciating pain right there were the prostate is but it needn't think it's going to win!
    Definitely. I'm completely ignoring this mahoosive tuma on my face as well.

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