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Thread: Mayhem on the train home last night.

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Not proud of the fact I once vomited in a train carriage after far, far too much cognac at a Christmas do at The Ritz. Must have been about 8 years ago. Thankfully, it was empty apart from me.

    Pretty sure that was the last time I puked due to drink. I'm not generally a puker.
    I once saw a guy hurl on one of those old slam door carriages where a row of people sat opposite you. It was absolutely rammed, and he projectile vomited so hard into the shins of those sitting opposite that the splashback affected people on his side of the carriage as well. Happily, I was sitting by the door and escaped the horrors of the Exorcist-like outpourings, but my drunkedn condition caused me to laugh uproariously, thus making me a victim of the carriage's assembled wrath.

    Good timez.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    "if 'e don't like a bit of honest British vom on 'is fackin' sandals, then he could fack orf back to fackin Allan-land!"
    I wasn't touching him, h. He was covered in upchuck.

    Besides, these people are riddled with disease. You don't know what you might catch.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I once saw a guy hurl on one of those old slam door carriages where a row of people sat opposite you. It was absolutely rammed, and he projectile vomited so hard into the shins of those sitting opposite that the splashback affected people on his side of the carriage as well. Happily, I was sitting by the door and escaped the horrors of the Exorcist-like outpourings, but my drunkedn condition caused me to laugh uproariously, thus making me a victim of the carriage's assembled wrath.

    Good timez.
    There's nothing like puking up a gallon of lager on a coach full of football teamates and then watching (and smelling it) whilst it is running up and down the floor of the coach as the hills are traversed.
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I once saw a guy hurl on one of those old slam door carriages where a row of people sat opposite you. It was absolutely rammed, and he projectile vomited so hard into the shins of those sitting opposite that the splashback affected people on his side of the carriage as well. Happily, I was sitting by the door and escaped the horrors of the Exorcist-like outpourings, but my drunkedn condition caused me to laugh uproariously, thus making me a victim of the carriage's assembled wrath.

    Good timez.
    I must admit I was struggling not to laugh last night. I'd only had about three or four pints, but it was enough to anaesthetise myself against nausea at the smell and to find the whole thing quite amusing.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by IUFG View Post
    There's nothing like puking up a gallon of lager on a coach full of football teamates and then watching (and smelling it) whilst it is running up and down the floor of the coach as the hills are traversed.
    That's nice, i. An image to savour.

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    That's nice, i. An image to savour.
    You're welcome, sc.

    My team mates should have been thankful there wasn't a doner kebab or curry topping to it, imo
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  7. #17
    Loooooooooooool vomit man

    Glad I don’t have to put up with this anymore although now when I’m summoned to the office it’s an early morning Easy Jet flight to Basel which is probably no better.

    Switch to BA but they have the lousiest hotel selection in Basel. Ffs.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    It was only about 7, but just outside Tottenham Hale in a crowded coach, some otherwise respectable-looking chap threw up in the bank of seats in front of me. Everyone reaches for their bags and lifts their feet off the floor, etc. But then I realise that there's even more commotion than one might expect in such a situation. Turns out he's only emptied the largely beer-based contents of his stomach on the feet of an Allan couple in front of him. She's in a hijab and in tears, he's got the chinbeard and is jabbering away about this poor bloke being an animal and having defiled him and his wife. Needless to say, the puker's slurred attempts at apology aren't cutting any ice.

    Anyway, we pull into Ponders End and vomit man decides (not unreasonably) that discretion is the better part of valour and legs it off the train at what is clearly not his stop. Chinbeard goes to race after him, but slips over in the vomit. Wife's wailing away while some helpful lady's offering her tissues, which for some reason seems to make her even more upset.

    Anyway, nobody's making eye contact after that and they eventually get off at Brimsdown and we're all left there in shock in a railway coach reeking of vomit. It was a long journey to Broxbourne.

    And that's why multiculturalism doesn't work.

    Seems to me that you hate this guy 'cos he is an Allan... or is it the beard and that he is an Allan?
    "Scoring a goal is better than sex" - Whoever said that was sticking it to the wrong woman

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