Which of the following London hotels is best. I need to stay for one night tonight

[Rich]

and the choice is mine.

Shangri'la - The Shard
Four Seasons, Trinity Square
The Dorchester

[Sir C]

and the choice is mine.

Shangri'la - The Shard
Four Seasons, Trinity Square
The Dorchester

The Shangri la is going to be hideously overpriced and it's in the middle of nowhere, except if you want to visit Borough Market.

The Dorchester is designed for Arabs and is as flash as a rat with a gold tooth. I like China Tang for lunch, but that's about it.

Four Seasons' always strike me as a bit tryhard, you know? Like they're American or something.

I recommend The Beaumont.

[Burney]

The Shangri la is going to be hideously overpriced and it's in the middle of nowhere, except if you want to visit Borough Market.

The Dorchester is designed for Arabs and is as flash as a rat with a gold tooth. I like China Tang for lunch, but that's about it.

Four Seasons' always strike me as a bit tryhard, you know? Like they're American or something.

I recommend The Beaumont.

Also, is there a more naff name for anything than The Shangri La?

[Sir C]

Also, is there a more naff name for anything than The Shangri La?

It's an Asian company b. Be garetul, they could have called it Winlucky Freshtime or somethign equally ridiculous. (That is the real name of a company in Hong Kong I used to trde with.)

[Burney]

It's an Asian company b. Be garetul, they could have called it Winlucky Freshtime or somethign equally ridiculous. (That is the real name of a company in Hong Kong I used to trde with.)

What did they sell? Intimate wipes?

[Sir C]

What did they sell? Intimate wipes?

Cars, just cars. There was a fashion in Hong Kong for putting random English words together to name your company.

At around the same time I used to deal with a Malay called Mr Yip. In the Chinese fashion his business card showed his surname followed by his initials. Imagine my struggle when he first handed me a card declaring him to be Mr Yip E I.

Asia was fun in the 90s.

[Burney]

Cars, just cars. There was a fashion in Hong Kong for putting random English words together to name your company.

At around the same time I used to deal with a Malay called Mr Yip. In the Chinese fashion his business card showed his surname followed by his initials. Imagine my struggle when he first handed me a card declaring him to be Mr Yip E I.

Asia was fun in the 90s.

You can't even make fun of their names any more.

[Rich]

The Shangri la is going to be hideously overpriced and it's in the middle of nowhere, except if you want to visit Borough Market.

The Dorchester is designed for Arabs and is as flash as a rat with a gold tooth. I like China Tang for lunch, but that's about it.

Four Seasons' always strike me as a bit tryhard, you know? Like they're American or something.

I recommend The Beaumont.

Unfortunately The Beaumont does not feature on the list I was provided. Expense of the Shangri La is not my problem.

However, I’m told that the barman at Trinity Square knows how to make an Old Fashioned. So I think that is where I shall end up.

[Sir C]

Unfortunately The Beaumont does not feature on the list I was provided. Expense of the Shangri La is not my problem.

However, I’m told that the barman at Trinity Square knows how to make an Old Fashioned. So I think that is where I shall end up.

If you find a 5 star hotel in London at which the barman does not know how to make an Old Fashioned, I will give you one thousand English pounds.

[Burney]

If you find a 5 star hotel in London at which the barman does not know how to make an Old Fashioned, I will give you one thousand English pounds.

Surely an Old Fashioned is just a poor man's Vieux Carré?