The NHS has sent me a letter

[WES]

it suggests that the NHS, in approximately 8 weeks or so, would like me to give myself an enema, then proceed to a local hospital where I will be asked to assume the position before some NHS person sticks a tube up my backside, fills my innards with some form of gas and then inserts some form of camera thingy to take a look at my bowels. And after which I will probably scurry to a loo and explode something or other into the loo.

And why do they want me to do this? Because I have a family history of bowel cancer? Nope. Because I have a lifestyle that in some way suggests that I might be at higher risk of bowel cancer? Nope. Because I have symptoms associated with bowel cancer? Nope. None of that. Simply because I have turned a certain age.

F*ck that sideways. I ain't doing it.

[Luis Anaconda]

it suggests that the NHS, in approximately 8 weeks or so, would like me to give myself an enema, then proceed to a local hospital where I will be asked to assume the position before some NHS person sticks a tube up my backside, fills my innards with some form of gas and then inserts some form of camera thingy to take a look at my bowels. And after which I will probably scurry to a loo and explode something or other into the loo.

And why do they want me to do this? Because I have a family history of bowel cancer? Nope. Because I have a lifestyle that in some way suggests that I might be at higher risk of bowel cancer? Nope. Because I have symptoms associated with bowel cancer? Nope. None of that. Simply because I have turned a certain age.

F*ck that sideways. I ain't doing it.

Or maybe they just have spent some time with you and have the means to make you suffer equally in return

[IUFG]

it suggests that the NHS, in approximately 8 weeks or so, would like me to give myself an enema, then proceed to a local hospital where I will be asked to assume the position before some NHS person sticks a tube up my backside, fills my innards with some form of gas and then inserts some form of camera thingy to take a look at my bowels. And after which I will probably scurry to a loo and explode something or other into the loo.

And why do they want me to do this? Because I have a family history of bowel cancer? Nope. Because I have a lifestyle that in some way suggests that I might be at higher risk of bowel cancer? Nope. Because I have symptoms associated with bowel cancer? Nope. None of that. Simply because I have turned a certain age.

F*ck that sideways. I ain't doing it.

get yourself there, you big, fúcking wuss.

[Peter]

Or maybe they just have spent some time with you and have the means to make you suffer equally in return

Maybe they have heard that he is full of ****

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

You just smear a bit of shít on a lolly stick and post it to them ya big wet fanny/[/I]

[Tony C]

If you do go...make sure your affairs are in order before hand.

Can’t trust those useless ****** imo