Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
I had an acquaintance who, on farting, belching, coughing something up, having taken a particularly foul dump or puking would gravely intone 'Better an empty house than a bad lodger' as though this expiated all sins.

Needless to say, he was northern.
For a mere acquaintance you've shared some very intimate situations. I dread to think how close you get to a genuine friend!