Well done, Mesut Özil. Going in late, two-footed and with his studs showing.

[Luis Anaconda]

That's because they generally go to decent schools because they invariably drive up the grades.

There were a couple at mine. Both called Lam. Willy and Pete Lam. Not related at all. Great bunch of lads.

Oh, and there was Lawrence Low, too. He was a nice chap. I had sex with his girlfriend, which I still feel a bit bad about.

Only Chinese at my school was called Lam as well - what are the odds

[Peter]

That's because they generally go to decent schools because they invariably drive up the grades.

There were a couple at mine. Both called Lam. Willy and Pete Lam. Not related at all. Great bunch of lads.

Oh, and there was Lawrence Low, too. He was a nice chap. I had sex with his girlfriend, which I still feel a bit bad about.

I went to a very decent school, I'll have you know! We had one Japanese lad but he left two years and is now a celebrity chef.

No chinese at all. None at my primary school either.

[Burney]

We had one in my school, his name was Derek something but he was known universally as Hong Kong Phooey.

We also had a Son of Nippon who kept a pet bee on piece of cotton.

This Derek chap, was he wily? They are generally wily, I find.

The Nip sounds pretty typical of the breed.

[Burney]

Only Chinese at my school was called Lam as well - what are the odds

Apparently, it's the 16th most common name in China.

[Sir C]

This Derek chap, was he wily? They are generally wily, I find.

The Nip sounds pretty typical of the breed.

He was more posh than wily. He had a double-barrelled name and a cut glass accent. He was Hong Kongish, of course, so not really Chinee.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

We had one in the Infants called Mesusa
She's showing her knickers in the class photo

One in my Secondary School year was a boy called Kim
He had hair like a thatched roof

[Burney]

He was more posh than wily. He had a double-barrelled name and a cut glass accent. He was Hong Kongish, of course, so not really Chinee.

Oh, yes. I think ours were Honkers, too. Not that I bothered asking. To me at that age, Chinesers all p1ssed in the same pot.

[Burney]

We had one in the Infants called Mesusa
She's showing her knickers in the class photo

One in my Secondary School year was a boy called Kim
He had hair like a thatched roof

Isn't Kim famously a Korean name, though?

[Ash]

Only Chinese at my school was called Lam as well - what are the odds

Mine too.

There seems to be a pattern developing here.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Well he had narrow eyes