Whenever I am forced to travel the Northern Line, I prowl up and down the carriages bellowing into passenger's faces that I have an atom bomb in my pocket and they must pay for having murdered my mother.
I learned a long time ago there is only ever one nutter on any train so to avoid the nutter on the train, one must simpy be the nutter on the train.
I walked into bloke on a corner at Kentish Town station a couple of years back.
We both checked our pockets before walking off.
Well, he looked like the nutter...
“Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”