Click here for Arsenal FC news and reports

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: Imagine you had the biggest, fluffiest cat in the world.

  1. #1

    Imagine you had the biggest, fluffiest cat in the world.

    Imagine that cat suffered un crise d'estomac which resulted in the poor creature's rear end being almost entirely soaked in liquid shíte, with many interesting soft lumps also embedded in the fur.

    Now picture such a creature going about his morning duties, hopping from kitchen worktop to kitchen table, from floor to sofa, chair, windowsill and so forth.

    The sight that greeted me when I entered my house at lunchtime was indescribable.

    Have you ever tried washing a shít-soaked cat in a bucket? :shudder:

    I wish I were dead.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Imagine that cat suffered un crise d'estomac which resulted in the poor creature's rear end being almost entirely soaked in liquid shíte, with many interesting soft lumps also embedded in the fur.

    Now picture such a creature going about his morning duties, hopping from kitchen worktop to kitchen table, from floor to sofa, chair, windowsill and so forth.

    The sight that greeted me when I entered my house at lunchtime was indescribable.

    Have you ever tried washing a shít-soaked cat in a bucket? :shudder:

    I wish I were dead.
    is the poor wee chap OK?

  3. #3
    Can you wrap it in a towel to avoid getting your face scratched to death whilst bathing its botty ?
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Imagine that cat suffered un crise d'estomac which resulted in the poor creature's rear end being almost entirely soaked in liquid shíte, with many interesting soft lumps also embedded in the fur.

    Now picture such a creature going about his morning duties, hopping from kitchen worktop to kitchen table, from floor to sofa, chair, windowsill and so forth.

    The sight that greeted me when I entered my house at lunchtime was indescribable.

    Have you ever tried washing a shít-soaked cat in a bucket? :shudder:

    I wish I were dead.
    Mine did that to me a couple of times. The worst part is trying to catch the thing, once it works out that a wash is coming. I did find the garden hose quite useful for the rinse stage.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Trent View Post
    Mine did that to me a couple of times. The worst part is trying to catch the thing, once it works out that a wash is coming. I did find the garden hose quite useful for the rinse stage.
    In my first flat my cat jumped into the paint tray and then ran along the back of the sofa
    Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    is the poor wee chap OK?
    He's awfully upset about being washed. I've had to throw my clothes away, so ingrained with shít and blood were they. (My blood, naturally.)

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Trent View Post
    Mine did that to me a couple of times. The worst part is trying to catch the thing, once it works out that a wash is coming. I did find the garden hose quite useful for the rinse stage.
    My fear is that I didn't remove all of it and I'm going to have to go through the whole process again later.

  8. #8

    b.. this charade you enact of being a warm and caring person every time

    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    is the poor wee chap OK?
    Sir C comes on bemoaning his cat for squirting faeces everywhere just doesn't ring true.

    I very much doubt the "poor wee chap" is OK because the fur covered little snake has probably been slung into the wood-chipper by an enraged Sir C and quite right too.

    And furthermore, a fireman friend of mine tells me an estimated forty pet cats died in the Grenfell fire and I haven't heard you, or the other great cat lover, evince a shred of sympathy. Cat lovers my fat white cat hating arse .

  9. #9
    You might as well throw the kitchen away as well
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas View Post
    You might as well throw the kitchen away as well
    There were actual lumps (soft lumps) all over the worktop.

    My immune system is going to be working overtime.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •