Imagine that cat suffered un crise d'estomac which resulted in the poor creature's rear end being almost entirely soaked in liquid shíte, with many interesting soft lumps also embedded in the fur.

Now picture such a creature going about his morning duties, hopping from kitchen worktop to kitchen table, from floor to sofa, chair, windowsill and so forth.

The sight that greeted me when I entered my house at lunchtime was indescribable.

Have you ever tried washing a shít-soaked cat in a bucket? :shudder:

I wish I were dead.