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Thread: Speaking of blurred vision how the flying **** does Jordan Pickford manage to push

  1. #41
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Does he still look like a mong, though.

    To be honest, I always quite liked him as a player.
    As a boy, I was friends with a chap whose parents in their wisdom decided to adopt a mong. Gareth, his name was. Lovely, sweet chap most of the time. However, if his mong brain became enraged, he got excited or (and this was a bit awkward) sexually aroused ( ) he would acquire extraordinary mong powers that made him superhumanly strong and dangerous. When this happened, my friend and his two brothers (who were quite burly lads) were required to bundle him into a cupboard and lock him in there until he calmed down.

    I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be allowed today.

  2. #42
    Seclusion - as it is known in mental health terms. Usually the last resort.
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by IUFG View Post
    You? Watching Irish TV?

    Whatever next?
    The alternative is Rio and his mates on your BBC - Shearer, Lawrenson and Jenas.

    In summary, fúck that.

  4. #44
    Quote Originally Posted by IUFG View Post
    Seclusion - as it is known in mental health terms. Usually the last resort.
    Just taze the fúcker, surely?

  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by IUFG View Post
    Seclusion - as it is known in mental health terms. Usually the last resort.
    To be fair, short of using a tranquiliser dart, I don't know what else they could have done with the little fvcker. If you got in his way, he'd take you down - and being battered by a rampaging mong is not a happy prospect, I can tell you.

  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Just taze the fúcker, surely?
    I don't think they had tazers in those days.

  7. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I don't think they had tazers in those days.
    sleep mallets.
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    To be fair, short of using a tranquiliser dart, I don't know what else they could have done with the little fvcker. If you got in his way, he'd take you down - and being battered by a rampaging mong is not a happy prospect, I can tell you.
    Some sort of cattle prod would have been handy.

  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Some sort of cattle prod would have been handy.
    The birch.

    I genuinely have no idea what it even is but was regularly threatened with it in my youth.

  10. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    The birch.

    I genuinely have no idea what it even is but was regularly threatened with it in my youth.
    It’s what they use on homosexualists in The Isle of Man, I think.

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