interest that we win it. The Premiership is already far too powerful for FIFA's liking and England's progression to any stage consolidates that power. The failure to award that penalty is inexplicable to anyone. And yet observe the first, even slightly contentious goal we score will be struck out by VAR immediately.

It is a pity that FIFA fail to grasp that they don't need to bother as our abject shítness already precludes our progression past the quarters. What on earth is Jesse Lingard doing at a World Cup? He plays as though both his feet were severed in a ghastly farming accident and sewn back on the wrong way round.