My feelings about the Irish referendum are a bit like my feelings

[Sir C]

In fact, we’re off to Paris on Tuesday until Saturday.

Not my idea. If you told me I could never go to Paris again, I shouldn’t be the least bit bothered.

Ah, Paris in the spring, what could be lovelier? The city of love, b. Perhaps you can make a baby while you're there! Imagine! A brand new mini B. A miracle.

I shall pray for your conjugal rapture to be blessed in this way.

[Burney]

Ah, Paris in the spring, what could be lovelier? The city of love, b. Perhaps you can make a baby while you're there! Imagine! A brand new mini B. A miracle.

I shall pray for your conjugal rapture to be blessed in this way.

What a perfectly foul idea!

[Sir C]

What a perfectly foul idea!

You can do it through a hole in a sheet if you find it that offensive, b

[Ash]

Ireland only fully legalised contraception in 1985; decriminalised homosexuality in 1993 and finally allowed divorce in 1995.

Those low expectations are FULLY merited.

Ireland is a backwards dungheap.

If you were a real conservative you'd see those as three steps backward.

[Burney]

You can do it through a hole in a sheet if you find it that offensive, b

The ruffty would be enough of a trial, but the thought of having to live with a mewling, puking infant at my age is simply horrific.

[Burney]

If you were a real conservative you'd see those as three steps backward.

I’ve never claimed to be a conservative - merely a Conservative.

[Sir C]

The ruffty would be enough of a trial, but the thought of having to live with a mewling, puking infant at my age is simply horrific.

Are you not feeling the jiggyjiggy currently, b? Perhaps you're going through the change.

[Burney]

Are you not feeling the jiggyjiggy currently, b? Perhaps you're going through the change.

I prefer my allotment these days. It doesn’t expect to be cuddled after I’ve sown my seed in it.

[Sir C]

I prefer my allotment these days. It doesn’t expect to be cuddled after I’ve sown my seed in it.

The position is ridiculous, the pleasure momentary and the expense damnable, as the man said.

I'm thinking of buying some testosterone off the internet. I assume you can get it in tablet form. I think I'm getting old.

[SWv2]

Can she really be a chick AND a fox at the same time though, without seriously mixing the metaphors?

Doesn't the fox get among the chickens, after all? Or am I thinking of cats and pigeons?

A chick can be a fox, a chick can also be a munter. A fox is not a munter.

Clear?