Now I had exactly zero interest in the Royal Wedding. I am quite happy for others

[Ash]

to derive enjoyment from it and am a monarchist, but there was never the remotest possibility that I was going to bother my arse watching it.

However, nothing is better calculated to make me warm to the damn thing than the performative demonstrations of po-faced, adolescent posturing about it that invariably spew forth from lefty anti-monarchist types. Social media has been absolutely crawling with them this last week with their whataboutery, self-loathing miserabilism, hand-wringing and just plain dishonesty.

Honest to God, can these people not hear what dry cvnts they sound?

In Jorge's absence, I should make some sort of effort to step up to the plate. Just for a bit of sport.

Here's the thing: I just don't get it. I get that 74% of the population does, but I don't. We've spent 800 years clawing power off their ilk, and this morning I noticed a headline saying that the new Mrs Wossname is going to use her position to push feminism.

On what authority to these people think they can tell us what to do? By all means prance about in your silly outfits if people enjoy the show, but keep the eff out of politics, please.

[Burney]

In Jorge's absence, I should make some sort of effort to step up to the plate. Just for a bit of sport.

Here's the thing: I just don't get it. I get that 74% of the population does, but I don't. We've spent 800 years clawing power off their ilk, and this morning I noticed a headline saying that the new Mrs Wossname is going to use her position to push feminism.

On what authority to these people think they can tell us what to do? By all means prance about in your silly outfits if people enjoy the show, but keep the eff out of politics, please.

I tend to agree. They really ought to stay the fvck out of politics - especially if they're going to start p1ssing about with identity politics, which can be nothing other than divisive.

Odd thing, though: some of the most progressive and liberal countries on earth are constitutional monarchies. The idea that such arrangements ingrain conservatism or entrench privilege is demonstrable nonsense.

[Sir C]

In Jorge's absence, I should make some sort of effort to step up to the plate. Just for a bit of sport.

Here's the thing: I just don't get it. I get that 74% of the population does, but I don't. We've spent 800 years clawing power off their ilk, and this morning I noticed a headline saying that the new Mrs Wossname is going to use her position to push feminism.

On what authority to these people think they can tell us what to do? By all means prance about in your silly outfits if people enjoy the show, but keep the eff out of politics, please.

Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Sussex to you.

But, in general, otherwise agreed.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I did try to watch but I switched on just as thon preacher man was bellowing questions at the congregation and found it so embarrassing I had to switch off.

The genius of our monarchy is how adeptly they can shape-shift to fit the zeitgeist and secure another fifty years of leeching rights.

I remain convinced that is woman this going to be a whole bunch of trouble for the firm. Let's hope so.

[Burney]

I did try to watch but I switched on just as thon preacher man was bellowing questions at the congregation and found it so embarrassing I had to switch off.

The genius of our monarchy is how adeptly they can shape-shift to fit the zeitgeist and secure another fifty years of leeching rights.

I remain convinced that is woman this going to be a whole bunch of trouble for the firm. Let's hope so.

At one point, apparently, the bloody man mentioned 'sexual union'. At a marriage! In front of The Queen! I was furious.

[Sir C]

At one point, apparently, the bloody man mentioned 'sexual union'. At a marriage! In front of The Queen! I was furious.

That wasn't the yanqui, that was the vicar bloke.

It was appalling.

[Burney]

That wasn't the yanqui, that was the vicar bloke.

It was appalling.

Good God! Really? I’d assumed only an American would be capable of such a solecism.

What on earth has become of the C of E? ‘Sexual onion’, indeed.