I see Mesut's agent has come out and destroyed Keown.

[Sir C]

You asked him for his autograph?

You’re actually an even bigger deviant than I have secretly though up to this point.

For shame Dutch. For. Shame.

Jesus Christ no. I was in a pub near his house once, which had several signed momentoes and letters on the walls.

Illiterate fúcker, he is.

[SWv2]

Jesus Christ no. I was in a pub near his house once, which had several signed momentoes and letters on the walls.

Illiterate fúcker, he is.

Okay, we will pretend this to be the case if only to try and retain some of your flagging reputation.

I am saddened.

Have you ever brought a typewriter to a match?