Approximately 18 months ago I, World's End Stella, went on an extensive youtube

investigation of all the young prospects I had seen mentioned in the media as potentially being available. After extensive analysis (approx. 30min for all of them) I decided that there were two outstanding talents available, these being Leroy Sane and Ousmane Dembele, both of whom were sold that summer for amounts that Arsenal Football Club could have comfortably afforded. Both are now worth close to 100mil (maybe) proving, yet again, that WES knows a good footballer when he sees one, and a ****e one, as well. See Aaron Ramsey as further proof, as if it were needed. Of course, we didn't buy them because we had AOC and Walcott

On the back of today's BBC Gossip column and a recommendation from that Bundesliga watching pervert, SW, I have spent 5 minutes watching Leon Goretzka play football and I can confirm that he is exactly the player we need at Arsenal.

There is therefore no chance whatsoever of us purchasing him, mostly because we have Xhaka and Ramsey

Still, maybe he'll show up at Spurs