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Thread: Talking of supermarkets, what fresh cvntery is this?

  1. #1

    Talking of supermarkets, what fresh cvntery is this?

    I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...source=Twitter

  2. #2
    Dale Winton would have liked your retribution
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...source=Twitter
    Waitrose can fvck off

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...source=Twitter
    There is much, much worse news than this. There are plans, it is alleged, to ban God's honest cotton bud!

    I shall be reduced to poking around in my lugs with a paperclip or biro. Haha, which reminds me of a colleagure, many years ago, who made the error of picking up a pen from my desk and thoughtfully chewing the end, only to throw it down in disgust with a cry of, "This fúcking thing is covered in your ear bogies!"

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    There is much, much worse news than this. There are plans, it is alleged, to ban God's honest cotton bud!

    I shall be reduced to poking around in my lugs with a paperclip or biro. Haha, which reminds me of a colleagure, many years ago, who made the error of picking up a pen from my desk and thoughtfully chewing the end, only to throw it down in disgust with a cry of, "This fúcking thing is covered in your ear bogies!"
    I'm amazed you can tolerate the cotton wool element, tbh. A paperclip is my weapon of choice. It could have been specifically designed for the purpose.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...source=Twitter

    "Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

    Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I'm amazed you can tolerate the cotton wool element, tbh. A paperclip is my weapon of choice. It could have been specifically designed for the purpose.
    You make a good point; the buds must be of the highest quality so that the end is wrapped tightly and doesn't feel like cotton wool. In reality, it's Johnson & Johnson or nothing.

    Paperclips are good, but I once poked a little too far and thought for a moment that I had punctured my eardrum. This caused me to ease off pushing metal implements into my head.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Peter View Post
    "Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

    Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.
    "Excuse me, I'm a fat **** and can't decide whether this broccolli or this lard would make for the healthier dinner, plus my children are malnourished which is the fault of evil Tories."

    That's the sort of thing I'm imagining.

  9. #9
    For the best results presumably Sir moistens the end before inserting
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Peter View Post
    "Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

    Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.
    tremendous. When they recommend something 'healthy' that makes me sick i will sue their arses.

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