What would you think of someone who went to 5 Guys, ordered a bacon cheeseburger

[Burney]

You cant have too much slop in there and you shouldn't need it. It only dilutes the flavour of the meat, which is supposed to be the point. Likewise, things like cucumber and tomato need to be positioned in reasonable and consistent sizes. You cannot afford lumpsand undulations above or beneath the layer of meat. This inevitably causes structural disintegration at an early stage.

The problem is that the more succulent the burger, the more likely it is to disintegrate, as the juices from the meat inevitably seep into the bun and render it structurally unsound.

Also, brioche buns can fvck off.

[Peter]

Only amateurs (and women) put the burger down halfway through eating it.

Exactly. Have a few chips first, inspect the rest of the plate. Prepare the burger for holding and then commence once you acknowledge you are ready to go all in. Finish the remaining chips at the end. This can also help to mop up any sauce that may have scraped from the burger during consumption.

[redgunamo]

For. Fvck's. Sake.

What sort of deviant animal would do that?

An American. Deep-fat fried pickles is a popular delicacy in places like Arkansas and Mississippi. Delicious

[SWv2]

I have never been offered a pizza cutter in Pizza Express, ever.

Perhaps I am thinking of another chain, here it is called Milano for whatever reason. There is one on Upper Street just up from Byron, more or less opposite the Hilton.

Probably don't give them out in London as they would be nicked and used as a weapon in a street mugging.

Here in Ireland they give them out with each meal.

[Peter]

The problem is that the more succulent the burger, the more likely it is to disintegrate, as the juices from the meat inevitably seep into the bun and render it structurally unsound.

Also, brioche buns can fvck off.

THie can create an issue with buns. A dry bun will stand a good soaking whereas a lighter, fluffy one will fold by the second bite, once the overall structure has been compromised.

Trouble is, you then end up with a dry bun

Its tricky.

[redgunamo]

It's a Yankee thing, seen it a few times on Diners, Drive ins and Dives.

When in doubt deep fry the ****er.

Not "Yankee"; more "Cracker".

[PSRB]

It gets a bad press. I know people who wont touch it but love Pizza Hut....that doesnt make any sense to me at all.

Ours only does eat in and not delivery......and I'm not eating in a Pizza Hut

[PSRB]

Perhaps I am thinking of another chain, here it is called Milano for whatever reason. There is one on Upper Street just up from Byron, more or less opposite the Hilton.

Probably don't give them out in London as they would be nicked and used as a weapon in a street mugging.

Here in Ireland they give them out with each meal.

Essentially, if it's been pre-cut or I'm offered a cutter I would eat by hand, if not, then knife and fork

[Peter]

Ours only does eat in and not delivery......and I'm not eating in a Pizza Hut

100% agree there. I wouldnt even go in and collect it. The one in Colchester is on a retail estate, right in the middle of the car park. They pump out horrific pop music all day.

I am not a snob when it comes to food but I draw the line at going in there.

and anyway, Dominos is better.

[Burney]

Exactly. Have a few chips first, inspect the rest of the plate. Prepare the burger for holding and then commence once you acknowledge you are ready to go all in. Finish the remaining chips at the end. This can also help to mop up any sauce that may have scraped from the burger during consumption.

You also have to accept that it's not going to be pretty. You need napkins to hand.