Fúcking hell Sir C!

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

"Ardiles is a wánker
He comes from Argentina
And Villa is a poofter
'Cos he sucks Ossie's cóck!"

I was there in the North Bank the day that the creators of that abysmal chant tried to get it going, they were stood directly in front of me up at the back.

It was circa 78 and the two blokes were dead ringers for Chas 'n Dave to the extent that I suspected it was actually them. They were starting the chant "Osvaldo is a wánker" btw. They couldn't get it going but tried for about 10 minutes then gave up.

The fact you remember it means it either gained traction at a later date or you were stood by them too?

[Sir C]

I was there in the North Bank the day that the creators of that abysmal chant tried to get it going, they were stood directly in front of me up at the back.

It was circa 78 and the two blokes were dead ringers for Chas 'n Dave to the extent that I suspected it was actually them. They were starting the chant "Osvaldo is a wánker" btw. They couldn't get it going but tried for about 10 minutes then gave up.

The fact you remember it means it either gained traction at a later date or you were stood by them too?

It definitely caught on later. I remember it being sung one morning when they gave us a good shafting at Highbury a few years later... a Boxing Day game maybe? "You're just a Scotiish jew, Itchy Ball, Itchy Balls" was big that day as well.

You were right at the back, were you? Were you a face in those days then?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

It definitely caught on later. I remember it being sung one morning when they gave us a good shafting at Highbury a few years later... a Boxing Day game maybe? "You're just a Scotiish jew, Itchy Ball, Itchy Balls" was big that day as well.

You were right at the back, were you? Were you a face in those days then?

Like most of us grammar school boys that got drawn to Highbury, Hornby included, when hanging out in the North Bank I was very good at looking the part. When the violence started I was also very adept at being right in there hollering and pushing but making sure I wasn't risking any need for dental surgery. I even graduated to the Clock End later - same thing - total poseur.

My Dad was pwopah born and bred so all I had to do was basically affect his persona and I could get away with it. Still comes in handy now sometimes, truth to tell.

[Sir C]

Like most of us grammar school boys that got drawn to Highbury, Hornby included, when hanging out in the North Bank I was very good at looking the part. When the violence started I was also very adept at being right in there hollering and pushing but making sure I wasn't risking any need for dental surgery. I even graduated to the Clock End later - same thing - total poseur.

My Dad was pwopah born and bred so all I had to do was basically affect his persona and I could get away with it. Still comes in handy now sometimes, truth to tell.

I was also very much a '10th row back from the ruck' type. All the shouting, singing, pointing and gesturing, with none of the violence.

I did once throw a punch on the North Bank, at a Villa fan who popped up in front of me when the ruck started that day they won the league and we qualified for the UEFA cup by beating them. Thank God the movement of the crowd pushed us far apart before he had a chance to belt me one. I must have been all of 16

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I was also very much a '10th row back from the ruck' type. All the shouting, singing, pointing and gesturing, with none of the violence.

I did once throw a punch on the North Bank, at a Villa fan who popped up in front of me when the ruck started that day they won the league and we qualified for the UEFA cup by beating them. Thank God the movement of the crowd pushed us far apart before he had a chance to belt me one. I must have been all of 16

I bet your Norf London accent was a thespian tour de force too - Once, we had managed to hold off West Ham from totally invading the North Bank and were sharing half and half, I was half pissed and feeling preposterously brave so I decided to go for a piss by walking straight through all the Irons, shouldering a couple of them on the way and looking straight back at anyone that looked at me.

That was a revelation to me as I saw, in the faces of everyone I stared down, the fear based on the assumption that I must have been as hard as nails. It taught me the power of fronting but I now shudder when I look back at how very, very lucky I was that day not to bump into any real ICF psychos

[Sir C]

I bet your Norf London accent was a thespian tour de force too - Once, we had managed to hold off West Ham from totally invading the North Bank and were sharing half and half, I was half pissed and feeling preposterously brave so I decided to go for a piss by walking straight through all the Irons, shouldering a couple of them on the way and looking straight back at anyone that looked at me.

That was a revelation to me as I saw, in the faces of everyone I stared down, the fear based on the assumption that I must have been as hard as nails. It taught me the power of fronting but I now shudder when I look back at how very, very lucky I was that day not to bump into any real ICF psychos

Was that the day of the smoke bomb? I ended up on the pitch and then being escorted down to the Clock End by Old Bill. Remember the stories about the ICF leaving a calling card on their victims?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Was that the day of the smoke bomb? I ended up on the pitch and then being escorted down to the Clock End by Old Bill. Remember the stories about the ICF leaving a calling card on their victims?

Congratulations. You have just met the Inter City Firm.

For historical accuracy though, the named firms thing started a couple of years later. Everyone was just the <insert-name-here> aggro. We were the North Bank Aggro, they were The West Ham Aggro - very 70's.

Do you remember when just the term "The Stretford End" would make ones guts turn to water.

[Sir C]

Congratulations. You have just met the Inter City Firm.

For historical accuracy though, the named firms thing started a couple of years later. Everyone was just the <insert-name-here> aggro. We were the North Bank Aggro, they were The West Ham Aggro - very 70's.

Do you remember when just the term "The Stretford End" would make ones guts turn to water.

I was deeply scared in many places in those days. Old Trafford, Lids, West Brom. Nasty.

[SWv2]

Like most of us grammar school boys that got drawn to Highbury, Hornby included, when hanging out in the North Bank I was very good at looking the part. When the violence started I was also very adept at being right in there hollering and pushing but making sure I wasn't risking any need for dental surgery. I even graduated to the Clock End later - same thing - total poseur.

My Dad was pwopah born and bred so all I had to do was basically affect his persona and I could get away with it. Still comes in handy now sometimes, truth to tell.

This is worse than being told Santa is not real.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

This is worse than being told Santa is not real.

I'm sorry mate. There was only ever really a small hardcore doing the rucking. Most of us were there for a laugh.

I came back from some northern shítholes with a few cuts and bruises when my escape routes were blocked if that helps but I never really had the soul of a pit-bull. I can't kick another man in the head when he's down because I wouldn't want to kill him.