Beer can fúck off. There, I've said it.
You need gallons of it to get where you need to be, it makes you piss like a racehorse and your breath smells like an Irishman's árse. Furthermore, you end up with a gargantuan gut.
Wine is the stuff for the civilised gentleman. Also scotch, vodka, whisky, brandy and anything else required to make a pre-prandial cocktail.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."