Any good alternatives to booze? I practice abstinence during the working week now

[Sir C]

And of course, the NHS have introduced a health check at 55, so you can now look forward to receiving a do it yourself, enema through the post, followed by a camera being fed into your chuff. :harrumph:

There's no one from Our NHS getting anywhere near my fundament, 7.

[Tony C]

non alcoholic beer + a couple of joints imo

[7sisters]

There's no one from Our NHS getting anywhere near my fundament, 7.

I thought I may as well get into the spirit of the thing and having successfully negotiated the enema sack with aplomb, found myself waiting t'other side of the curtain, accompanied by an assortment of middle aged wreckage. The curtain drew back and a chap who was waffling in my ear only a few minutes earlier was being wheeled out of the theatre, spark out and a small cloth draped over his fevered brow. Fortunately, I was in and out, so to speak, in no time at all. Why, they even had a 48 inch plasma up on the wall, enabling one to get quite the view. :shudder:

[Sir C]

I thought I may as well get into the spirit of the thing and having successfully negotiated the enema sack with aplomb, found myself waiting t'other side of the curtain, accompanied by an assortment of middle aged wreckage. The curtain drew back and a chap who was waffling in my ear only a few minutes earlier was being wheeled out of the theatre, spark out and a small cloth draped over his fevered brow. Fortunately, I was in and out, so to speak, in no time at all. Why, they even had a 48 inch plasma up on the wall, enabling one to get quite the view. :shudder:

They pushed a camera up your rear end? Balls to all that. I'd rather take the cance.

[7sisters]

They pushed a camera up your rear end? Balls to all that. I'd rather take the cance.

Oh yes. The ask you to breathe in too. Not sure why, perhaps it's a preventative measure, should one involuntarily back fire. I've also had the camera down the throat and into the stomach several times over the years but on balance, the deaf and dumb end is a far more preferable option.

[redgunamo]

and would like to know if there is something more palatable I could use as an alternative?

More booze, imo.

[TheCurly]

and would like to know if there is something more palatable I could use as an alternative?

Fúck thon.
You WILL die soon so what is the point?