You can thnk me for our victory now, if you like.

[Burney]

Hmmm. Have you ever gone to Ikea?

I've gone to IKEA. I become disorientated and invariably emerge enraged and in no mood for meatballs. It's like the seventh circle of hell for me, I must admit.

[Burney]

If you continue trying to make me put jam on my dinner I will find you and I will kill you.

I sometimes put a bit of jam in my sauce when I roast a duck leg. Very nice, it is. Cherry or blackcurrant for preference.

[Sir C]

I sometimes put a bit of jam in my sauce when I roast a duck leg. Very nice, it is. Cherry or blackcurrant for preference.

Yes, but you're self-confessed genetically Irish, you repulsive deviant.

[Burney]

They come (or used to when I had them 25 years ago) with a mustard cream sauce; that's what makes them Swedish, I think. That and the jam.

They do serve lingonberry jam with absolutely everything. Basically it's because it's dark half the year and preserved fruit was literally their only source of Vitamin C.

[Sir C]

They do serve lingonberry jam with absolutely everything. Basically it's because it's dark half the year and preserved fruit was literally their only source of Vitamin C.

I have also heard them referred to as cloudberries.

Cloudberries my árse.

[Burney]

Yes, but you're self-confessed genetically Irish, you repulsive deviant.

Canard aux cerises is hardly an Irish dish now, is it? I also make a smashing Raymond Blanc pork loin stuffed with prunes of which you'd probably disapprove.

[SWv2]

I've gone to IKEA. I become disorientated and invariably emerge enraged and in no mood for meatballs. It's like the seventh circle of hell for me, I must admit.

The meatball ending is the only thing that keeps me going as normally any visit I am forced to make is on a Sunday and I invariably have been hungover.

Not unknown for me to lie down on one of the showroom beds, thus spoiling the moment for the eager newly wed home builders as they do up their measurements and plan their blissful future.

[SWv2]

Canard aux cerises is hardly an Irish dish now, is it? I also make a smashing Raymond Blanc pork loin stuffed with prunes of which you'd probably disapprove.

We call it duck you big fúcking gaylord.

[Burney]

I have also heard them referred to as cloudberries.

Cloudberries my árse.

I think they're different, but who really cares?

[Burney]

The meatball ending is the only thing that keeps me going as normally any visit I am forced to make is on a Sunday and I invariably have been hungover.

Not unknown for me to lie down on one of the showroom beds, thus spoiling the moment for the eager newly wed home builders as they do up their measurements and plan their blissful future.

With a raging hangover it's literally one of the worst places on earth. Noisy, hot, disorientating, impossible to escape and highly paranoia-inducing. It could almost be purpose-built to cause panic attacks.