see what all the fuss was about. Now, I’m obviously not the kind of cancer-deserving **** that draws hyperbolic conclusions from a YouTube video, but after a few minutes I’d genuinely convinced myself that he was potentially the greatest sportsmen that's ever lived.

Needles to say, when I learned he’d pre-signed for Liverpool, even though I wasn't aware of him ever being linked with us, I still felt a pang of disappointment,

Anyway, the point I’m trying to get to is that if this ****ox is even half as good as he looked on that YouTube video, and it turns out we could conceivably have signed him, then – and only then – will I concede that Wenger’s “lost da plot” and has “gotta go” or however you people describe these things.