The sort of person who does so has been getting immoderately excited by the debut novel by Imogen Hermes Gowar, "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock", so I have taken it upon myself to read and review this supposed masterpiece for you good people.

One reviewer noted that the 'prose shimmers like the titular temptress'; I note as follows: Nothing happens. Fúck all. No events. No happenings. No occurences. For hundreds of pages. Nothing.

Get yourself a nice, honest Dan Browne or something.