The sort of person who does so has been getting immoderately excited by the debut novel by Imogen Hermes Gowar, "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock", so I have taken it upon myself to read and review this supposed masterpiece for you good people.
One reviewer noted that the 'prose shimmers like the titular temptress'; I note as follows: Nothing happens. Fúck all. No events. No happenings. No occurences. For hundreds of pages. Nothing.
Get yourself a nice, honest Dan Browne or something.
"About 18 months ago, Imogen Hermes Gowar found herself the focus of a publishing bidding war. What started as a 10-way auction for her debut historical novel, The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock, was whittled down to three final bidders. Gowar favoured Harvill Secker, but its bid of £205,000 was the lowest. “We went back and asked, ‘Can we have it in guineas?’”Originally Posted by Sir C
Gowar, 30, tells this anecdote in the graveyard of St Nicholas Deptford, as we tour the historic sites of the southeast London neighbourhood. I laugh delightedly, because — as well as cannily upping her advance by a shilling in every pound to £215,000 — this negotiation mirrors a pivotal deal in her novel."
Jesus ****ing wept
Look at this. She is this sort of person.
"Imogen Hermes Gowar studied Archaeology, Anthropology and Art History before going on to work in museums. She began to write fiction inspired by the artefacts she worked with, and in 2013 won the Malcolm Bradbury Memorial Scholarship to study for an MA in Creative Writing at UEA."
An MA in creative writing. Like you can teach someone to write, ffs. Fúcking world obsessed with being at school populated by fúcking eternal students thinking everything can be reduced to fúcking learnt 'facts'. What of art? What of imagination? What of the joy of creativity? Is joy to be found in an MA?
She also has blue hair. She's probably non-binary.
Christopher Marlowe is buried there. That is my contribution to the literature thread. Apparently there is a Grinling Gibbons wood carving inside, but as is usually the case I only got to see the outside of the church.
He of course died by getting stabbed in the eye in a tavern brawl/assassination.
Yes, and ten days after being arrested for being an atheist, which could have had him deaded anyway.
Novels, you see? Lot of nonsense. Deciding to give up literary novels is one of the best moves I've made. Frees up so much time for reading worthwhile stuff.
***this is an automated response. You seem to have mistakenly posted in a thread containing elements of heart, soul, joy or wonder. Kindly back up and remove yourself at once before you start slagging off theatre and live music as well, you dessicated automaton***
Increasingly, I believe that (recorded) music and the plastic arts are the only bits worth bothering with. If I can just wean myself off poetry, I can fück the literary arts in the bin altogether.
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