I do like how barking mad Noel Edmonds is these days. Not content with banging on

[Luis Anaconda]

I sat next to Matt Dawson at a charity dinner once and he was absolutely delightful company. Also at the table were Will Carling and wossisname, the big lad. Martin Johnson. Both Dawson and Johnson referred to Carling with the moniker 'Bum Face', I remember, which was entirely appropriate.

Grand bunch of lads.

I got horrifically píssed and bid £1,000 for the use of a Bentley for a weekend, which prize I never colllected. Why the fúck would I want a Bentley for the weekend?

I hate drinking.

Johnson is indeed the big lad. Had the misfortune of watching Question of Sport over Christmas and Dawson just struck me as someone trying to hard to be "funny" or a "character - although the fact that he has to try suggests he may just be a nice lad when the camera isn't on him.

I hope it was a worthwhile charity - were there any, um, attractive females in short black dresses at this event by any chance

[Sir C]

Johnson is indeed the big lad. Had the misfortune of watching Question of Sport over Christmas and Dawson just struck me as someone trying to hard to be "funny" or a "character - although the fact that he has to try suggests he may just be a nice lad when the camera isn't on him.

I hope it was a worthwhile charity - were there any, um, attractive females in short black dresses at this event by any chance

It was some rugby charity. I've no idea, really. I think I got bullied into going.

The glw spent all evening discussing literature with Johnson. He is apparently quite well read.

[Luis Anaconda]

It was some rugby charity. I've no idea, really. I think I got bullied into going.

The glw spent all evening discussing literature with Johnson. He is apparently quite well read.

He hides it well. Although I doubt I would say that to his face

[Burney]

He hides it well. Although I doubt I would say that to his face

And what a face it is. It appears to have been assembled from a collection of discarded, non-matching spare parts.

[Burney]

It was some rugby charity. I've no idea, really. I think I got bullied into going.

The glw spent all evening discussing literature with Johnson. He is apparently quite well read.

I'll tell you who is a nice fellow - and very amusing - is Martin Bayfield. Absolutely enormous, of course, but actually quite charming. He told a particularly good story about his time in the police force where they raided a gay drug dealer's house where - to the enormous amusement of his colleagues, they discovered a full length poster of 'Bayfs' on the ceiling above the chap's bed.

[Luis Anaconda]

And what a face it is. It appears to have been assembled from a collection of discarded, non-matching spare parts.

Wouldn't look out of place on Easter Island tbf

[Sir C]

I'll tell you who is a nice fellow - and very amusing - is Martin Bayfield. Absolutely enormous, of course, but actually quite charming. He told a particularly good story about his time in the police force where they raided a gay drug dealer's house where - to the enormous amusement of his colleagues, they discovered a full length poster of 'Bayfs' on the ceiling above the chap's bed.

Never heard of the fellow. The only rugby players with whom I am familiar are Billy Beaumont and Victor Ubogu.

[Luis Anaconda]

I'll tell you who is a nice fellow - and very amusing - is Martin Bayfield. Absolutely enormous, of course, but actually quite charming. He told a particularly good story about his time in the police force where they raided a gay drug dealer's house where - to the enormous amusement of his colleagues, they discovered a full length poster of 'Bayfs' on the ceiling above the chap's bed.

I thought he was a copper - back in the days when it was almost a requirement for an England. Richards, Dooley, Ackford - sure there were a couple of others.

He's a very good presenter, though I think ITV were taken the piss a bit on Saturday putting Shane Williams between him and Lawrene Dallaglio (also a much nicer bloke than he comes across on the telly)

[Luis Anaconda]

Never heard of the fellow. The only rugby players with whom I am familiar are Billy Beaumont and Victor Ubogu.

You weren't a patron of Shoeless Joe's were you?

[Burney]

Never heard of the fellow. The only rugby players with whom I am familiar are Billy Beaumont and Victor Ubogu.

Ubogu seems a niche shout.