Dirty, Dutch bàstards!

[Burney]

This both surprises and intrigues me, b. Whilst Dutchers have a robust attitude to their bodily excretions, and enjoy nothing better than poking around in their jobbies checking for worms and/or blood, they are also generally excessively clean.

Perhaps they asked a load of southerners. The ones near Belgium are inevitably a bit odd.

I’m just struck by the fact that someone who was surveyed would admit they don’t wash their hands. You’d lie, wouldn’t you? To happily admit not doing so is to my mind worse than simply not doing so and lying about it.

[Burney]

Don't the Dutch have some weird thing about dog ****? I can't recall exactly what it was but it's a book I had.

What sort of ‘weird thing’, f? Do they eat it? Smear it on their chests when they have a cold? Play keepy-uppies with it?

[Sir C]

Don't the Dutch have some weird thing about dog ****? I can't recall exactly what it was but it's a book I had.

Erm, well they don't eat it or anything, but otherwise I don't really know.

[SWv2]

Good point, sw. He’s probably off defecating on his hands, though. It’s part of his culture.

You do realise this is your opportunity to throw all his cultural jibes about the Irish back in his face, don’t you?

Well yes, but you see I am an adult.

[Pat Vegas]

What sort of ‘weird thing’, f? Do they eat it? Smear it on their chests when they have a cold? Play keepy-uppies with it?

I think it was something like they refuse to pick it up.

[SWv2]

I think it was something like they refuse to pick it up.

For the record the whole picking up of dog shíte is a very fundamental reason why I don't have one.

And we Irish love dogs. My granny used to have 3-4 of them but used to tie up one of their front legs to stop them running off.

[Sir C]

I’m just struck by the fact that someone who was surveyed would admit they don’t wash their hands. You’d lie, wouldn’t you? To happily admit not doing so is to my mind worse than simply not doing so and lying about it.

None of it makes any sense.

Perhaps they translated the question badly into Dutch.

[Burney]

Well yes, but you see I am an adult.

Since when?

[Burney]

None of it makes any sense.

Perhaps they translated the question badly into Dutch.

They might have filmed people in lavatories, I suppose.

This has completely changed my view of Dennis Bergkamp. For all his glorious skill I now wonder if his finger had gone through the lavatory paper before the game and he had shíte under his fingernail.

[Burney]

I think it was something like they refuse to pick it up.

I can sympathise with that. I can’t watch people picking up warm dogshít without retching. It makes me despise them.