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Thread: Unable, due to time constraints, to visit my usual tonsorial consultant,

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    He did. He also did things to my eyebrows.

    I'd rather now draw a veil across the whole sordid matter.
    This is the new normal in barber shops imo. The days of an old gentleman in a white coat clipping your barnet in about 3 minutes' flat and then asking you if you wanted something for the weekend are gone, I'm afraid. It's all about Ottoman pampering these days. The ears is the least of it. On one occasion they put a mud mask on me and waxed my nostrils, the cheeky cünts.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Wesley Sneijder? What with Sneijder meaning 'cutter'? wd s! You have made an excellent Dutch pun.
    A Dutcher gave me a bottle of something called Schipper Bitter at Christmas because I'd drunk some with him while in Rotterdam and pretended to like it. It is of course, filthy.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    A Dutcher gave me a bottle of something called Schipper Bitter at Christmas because I'd drunk some with him while in Rotterdam and pretended to like it. It is of course, filthy.
    I am unfamiliar with this substance, b. For which I am not a little grateful. Still, if it numbs the pain of existence for a few hours, it can't be bad.

  4. #14
    Guaranteed to give you the Schipps

    A Greek friend gave me a bottle of Ouzu the other year
    I don't know whether to drink it or dispose of it
    Seems to be evaporating too
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    A Dutcher gave me a bottle of something called Schipper Bitter at Christmas because I'd drunk some with him while in Rotterdam and pretended to like it. It is of course, filthy.
    The perils of politeness. I was once given two bottles of home made Raki-like moonshine by French peasant neighbours of my ex's folks' country retreat after being complimentary about it.

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas View Post
    Guaranteed to give you the Schipps

    A Greek friend gave me a bottle of Ouzu the other year
    I don't know whether to drink it or dispose of it
    Seems to be evaporating too
    Lovely stuff. Bit of ice, splash of water, liquoricey goodness follows.

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas View Post
    Guaranteed to give you the Schipps

    A Greek friend gave me a bottle of Ouzu the other year
    I don't know whether to drink it or dispose of it
    Seems to be evaporating too
    Pour it down the sink!

    Evil stuff.

  8. #18
    I find that free bottles of booze make for excellent Christmas presents

    I gave my Dad a wrapped bottle of booze for Christmas last year thinking it was wine

    When he opened it it was Vodka
    :-/
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas View Post
    Guaranteed to give you the Schipps

    A Greek friend gave me a bottle of Ouzu the other year
    I don't know whether to drink it or dispose of it
    Seems to be evaporating too
    Anything aniseed-based should instantaneously be cast into outer darkness, s. There is no flavour under the sun as foul imo.

    Also, I have had literally the worst hangover of my life on Pernod. For some reason, a friend bought me a bottle that was blue and we consumed it one evening in his flat in Marseilles while the stifling heat and reek of the weeks of rubbish caused by a binmen's strike rendered the air particularly foul even for a southern French city.

  10. #20
    Ash "Pour it down the sink!

    Evil stuff."

    It is in a bottle marked Mostra and has the consistency of Cough Mixture

    I might leave it out for a homeless person who has his cardboard box and sleeping bag near me
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

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