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Thread: Unable, due to time constraints, to visit my usual tonsorial consultant,

  1. #1

    Unable, due to time constraints, to visit my usual tonsorial consultant,

    I have today placed my follicles into the tender mercies of a local gentleman of middle-eastern appearance.

    He set fire to my fúcking ears.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I have today placed my follicles into the tender mercies of a local gentleman of middle-eastern appearance.

    He set fire to my fúcking ears.
    Mine does that to me. Great, isn't it? They love getting rid of hair, do turks. Which is understandable, as they've so much of it.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Mine does that to me. Great, isn't it? They love getting rid of hair, do turks. Which is understandable, as they've so much of it.
    It was brutal and invasive, much like the way Johnny Turk treated Lawrence of Arabia, just without the bumming.

    I suspect he trained as a butcher and picked up his barbering skills from a youtube video.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    It was brutal and invasive, much like the way Johnny Turk treated Lawrence of Arabia, just without the bumming.

    I suspect he trained as a butcher and picked up his barbering skills from a youtube video.
    Did he do your nose hair and eyebrows, too? Hot towels and head, arm and neck massage?

    I've had them do all sorts to me.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Did he do your nose hair and eyebrows, too? Hot towels and head, arm and neck massage?

    I've had them do all sorts to me.
    I don't wish to think about it any more. I feel violated. And I can smell him or his juice on me.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I don't wish to think about it any more. I feel violated. And I can smell him or his juice on me.
    You need to relax and let them have their way with you. Once you loosen up, you start to quite enjoy it.

    Mind you, when a Turk has a cutthroat razor to my neck, I do have to force myself to stop thinking of ISIS videos and orange jumpsuits.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I have today placed my follicles into the tender mercies of a local gentleman of middle-eastern appearance.

    He set fire to my fúcking ears.
    I found myself in a similar situation recently. Did he get a little paper ball on a metal stick, dip it in bright purple liquid & then light it?

    Did it on my neck as well, he did. I didn't even sign a consent form.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Rich View Post
    I found myself in a similar situation recently. Did he get a little paper ball on a metal stick, dip it in bright purple liquid & then light it?

    Did it on my neck as well, he did. I didn't even sign a consent form.
    He did. He also did things to my eyebrows.

    I'd rather now draw a veil across the whole sordid matter.

  9. #9
    Did you see Wesley in the same barber shop ?
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas View Post
    Did you see Wesley in the same barber shop ?
    Wesley Sneijder? What with Sneijder meaning 'cutter'? wd s! You have made an excellent Dutch pun.

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