Having read glowing reviews and taken Kermode's word for it that

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

the script was at least plausible, I shelled out a small fortune to go and see The Last Jedi actually in a real cinema. I expected to be entranced as I was with The Empire Strikes Back but was disappointed.

Plot was banging around all over the place like a pinball machine and there seemed to be a surfeit of menopausal ladies running the show and delivering tepid lines with very little conviction. The english bird's accent was somewhat grating in the way Helen Baxendale's was when she fouled up a whole season of Friends.

One small bonus though. The old soak they thought would be a code cracker but betrayed them. If that ain't a young Sir C then I'm my chinese uncle's pet duck.

[Sir C]

the script was at least plausible, I shelled out a small fortune to go and see The Last Jedi actually in a real cinema. I expected to be entranced as I was with The Empire Strikes Back but was disappointed.

Plot was banging around all over the place like a pinball machine and there seemed to be a surfeit of menopausal ladies running the show and delivering tepid lines with very little conviction. The english bird's accent was somewhat grating in the way Helen Baxendale's was when she fouled up a whole season of Friends.

One small bonus though. The old soak they thought would be a code cracker but betrayed them. If that ain't a young Sir C then I'm my chinese uncle's pet duck.

I say, who is that ruggedly handsome chap. He looks like an older me.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I say, who is that ruggedly handsome chap. He looks like an older me.

when you were twenty one c although I rather fancy you have had that craggy, bronsonesque look since you were about sixteen. I bet you were on 20 Capstan Full Strength a day by the age of fourteen?

[Viva Prat Vegas]

The only difference is the Neanderthal profile

[SWv2]

when you were twenty one c although I rather fancy you have had that craggy, bronsonesque look since you were about sixteen. I bet you were on 20 Capstan Full Strength a day by the age of fourteen?

Their mums and dads smoke capstan non filters,
Wallpaper lives cause they all die of cancer,
What goes on, what goes wrong.

Save up their money for a holiday,
To selsey bill or bracklesham bay,
Think about the future, when they'll settle down,
Marry the girl next door, with one on the way.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

No-one captures the essence of the council estates of The Southeast quite like Weller.

[Ash]

Their mums and dads smoke capstan non filters,
Wallpaper lives cause they all die of cancer,
What goes on, what goes wrong.

Save up their money for a holiday,
To selsey bill or bracklesham bay,
Think about the future, when they'll settle down,
Marry the girl next door, with one on the way.

I actually sent to Selsey Bill once. As part of a general drive around the coast, rather than a specific pilgrimage. Naturally that song came to mind.

[Burney]

the script was at least plausible, I shelled out a small fortune to go and see The Last Jedi actually in a real cinema. I expected to be entranced as I was with The Empire Strikes Back but was disappointed.

Plot was banging around all over the place like a pinball machine and there seemed to be a surfeit of menopausal ladies running the show and delivering tepid lines with very little conviction. The english bird's accent was somewhat grating in the way Helen Baxendale's was when she fouled up a whole season of Friends.

One small bonus though. The old soak they thought would be a code cracker but betrayed them. If that ain't a young Sir C then I'm my chinese uncle's pet duck.

I've got to the stage where I'm afraid I no longer trust Kermode. I've had too many bad steers from him. Shīte like 'Beasts of the Southern Wild' and 'The Falling' that he's raved about have turned out to be the most appalling drivel.

I'm afraid I've also come to the conclusion that he and Mayo are too easily swayed by the really big genre releases like James Bond and Star Wars. Faced with such massive films, their critical faculties seem to shut down and these films seem to get huge plaudits virtually on the nod.

I'm also increasingly fed up with the way he allows his political bias to influence his reviews. He simply gushes at stuff like 'I Am Daniel Blake' and 'Pride' for no other reason than their political standpoint.

[redgunamo]

I've got to the stage where I'm afraid I no longer trust Kermode. I've had too many bad steers from him. Shīte like 'Beasts of the Southern Wild' and 'The Falling' that he's raved about have turned out to be the most appalling drivel.

I'm afraid I've also come to the conclusion that he and Mayo are too easily swayed by the really big genre releases like James Bond and Star Wars. Faced with such releases, their critical faculties seems to shut down and these films seem to get huge plaudits virtually on the nod.

I'm also increasingly fed up with the way he allows his political bias to influence his reviews. He simply gushes at stuff like 'I Am Daniel Blake' and 'Pride' for no other reason than their political standpoint.

Armond White is good, although he hates all the movies I love. Except Guy Ritchie's latest, oddly enough.

[Burney]

Armond White is good, although he hates all the movies I love. Except Guy Ritchie's latest, oddly enough.

By which you mean 'He hates Michael Mann'