Hold on, we won, did we?

[Ash]

I had the match on. It was ****ing dire.

Welbeck scored a goal only Welbeck can score. Going in for a header only to shin the ball in.

It was the only attempt on target in the entire game.

The Wham fans struck up a chorus of "We've had a shot, we've had a shot, we've had a shot!" after about 60 minutes. It was their first shot. Much as I always want a second goal, rarely have I felt less nervous at 1-0. They were phucking shyte.