More interestingly, I stepped in quickly when a colleague congratulated a young lady ina bar upon her choice of tartan minidress and opaque tights, which, he confided, made him feel all funny. Assuming that she would immediately start screaming 'rape!' I apologised and suggested that he was a little the worse for alcohol, and pushed him away.

She simply giggled and told me not to be silly, and that she was flattered.

I don't know what to do any more.