So Minnie Driver believes having your bum touched on the subway is "no better than

[Luis Anaconda]

I think Broad is finished and Anderson is always going to struggle in unhelpful conditions. The second string are pretty pathetic without Stokes, our only 90mph bowler is crocked and our only spinner is an injured part-timer. It was always going to be a big ask.

The fact is that the batting has been too reliant for too long on all-rounders chipping in down the order. Now one of those all-rounders is under police investigation and another is injured and appears to have forgotten how to bat. With neither Root nor Cook firing, we’ve been bloody lucky the newbies have stepped up it it could have been even more embarrassing.

Bowling-wise, the post Broad/Anderson future looks super-bleak.

Draft in Tom Helm and George Garton for the last two Tests. Both very sharpish. Maybe give Crane a go in Sydney More worried about opening bats. Cook will probably quit and we still haven’t properly replaced Strauss (though I like Stoneman and hopefully Hameed will take on Cook role. Also be tempted to play Johnny as a batsmen only and bring on Foakes. Apart from that the team is in good shape

[Peter]

Draft in Tom Helm and George Garton for the last two Tests. Both very sharpish. Maybe give Crane a go in Sydney More worried about opening bats. Cook will probably quit and we still haven’t properly replaced Strauss (though I like Stoneman and hopefully Hameed will take on Cook role. Also be tempted to play Johnny as a batsmen only and bring on Foakes. Apart from that the team is in good shape

This is the thing though. Its one tour every four years. We cant construct a bowling attack for that. Half our tests are played in England where seam movement and swing are more important. Its not just inevitable that we will develop these types of bowlers- its essential.

When it comes to batting, we need guys who can play sideways movement. Being able to bat all day on a flat track in Australia is a great skill but if you look hopeless against movement we are going to have to look elsewhere.

[SWv2]

This is the thing though. Its one tour every four years. We cant construct a bowling attack for that. Half our tests are played in England where seam movement and swing are more important. Its not just inevitable that we will develop these types of bowlers- its essential.

When it comes to batting, we need guys who can play sideways movement. Being able to bat all day on a flat track in Australia is a great skill but if you look hopeless against movement we are going to have to look elsewhere.

I have to say, and I am coming at this as a complete cricketing novice, but it takes a special side of special skills to go from the position they were in at the end of day 1 to how the test finished up.

Wd England.

[Peter]

I have to say, and I am coming at this as a complete cricketing novice, but it takes a special side of special skills to go from the position they were in at the end of day 1 to how the test finished up.

Wd England.

Was really just that collapse. That half an hour or so. Australia were always going to rack up a very big score and once they did we were ****ed. THis England side don't do lost causes so once they know they are going to lose they can't be arsed hanging around.

That one collapse and we were done for.

[Luis Anaconda]

This is the thing though. Its one tour every four years. We cant construct a bowling attack for that. Half our tests are played in England where seam movement and swing are more important. Its not just inevitable that we will develop these types of bowlers- its essential.

When it comes to batting, we need guys who can play sideways movement. Being able to bat all day on a flat track in Australia is a great skill but if you look hopeless against movement we are going to have to look elsewhere.

Can’t argue with that really. Certainly not the bowling angle though batsman should relish the lack of movement- indeed Malan’s comment after the first innings suggested as much

[Rich]

I’m sorry, but even being a teenager doesn’t excuse having a thing for Minnie ‘Balloon-Head’ Driver, m.

Also, her voice is profoundly annoying.

I may or may not have had a thing for Trisha (chat show host) as a teenager.

I cannot explain this.

[Peter]

Can’t argue with that really. Certainly not the bowling angle though batsman should relish the lack of movement- indeed Malan’s comment after the first innings suggested as much

Yes, although it is a different challenge for batsmen. Its now a case of needing to bat big and long which means cutting out the flashes outside off stump. Funny that Malan can grasp that and Root cant.

I cant quite believe some of the things I am hearing about Jimmy Anderson. Absolutely ridiculous.

[Peter]

raping someone"

Presumably if a man gave her the option of one or the other being done to her, she would make her choice with total indifference.

Thick, square-faced ****.

She also said that we, as men, do not have the right to an opinion. So you bringing this up, even discussing it, is probably rape.

Presumably the jurors will all need to be women as well. And the judge. And in fact all the police officers dealing with. And all the journalists.

Rape is rape, as is anything else that a woman says is rape, even when it clearly isnt. Its all rape. And we are not allowed an opinion.

Naturally, I do not have an opinion.

[redgunamo]

She also said that we, as men, do not have the right to an opinion. So you bringing this up, even discussing it, is probably rape.

Presumably the jurors will all need to be women as well. And the judge. And in fact all the police officers dealing with. And all the journalists.

Rape is rape, as is anything else that a woman says is rape, even when it clearly isnt. Its all rape. And we are not allowed an opinion.

Naturally, I do not have an opinion.

Well, quite. There's lots of wise words to be said on the subject, but the wise man doesn't allow himself to be caught saying any of them

[Peter]

Well, quite. There's lots of wise words to be said on the subject, but the wise man doesn't allow himself to be caught saying any of them

One other woman must have encountered Monty previously as she pointed out that 'there are different stages of cancer but its all still cancer'.....

In the same way, there are different abilities in footballers but they are all footballers. THere is no hierarchy and therefore
Alex Iwobi IS Dennis Bergkamp