I'm going out for chinese food tonight.

[Sir C]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China.

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

[Pat Vegas]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China.

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

Tapas, Mexican (if in the UK) Dinners at weddings/Christmas parties.

I also had a terrible experience in LA where you had to cook your own stuff on a the grill at the table. I hated it.

[World's End Stella]

Indian.

No matter how much I enjoy eating it, I always regret having done so as soon as I'm finished.

See also a full English breakfast.

[Sir C]

Indian.

No matter how much I enjoy eating it, I always regret having done so as soon as I'm finished.

See also a full English breakfast.

I'm done with the British 'Indian'. I've probably been eating it for, what, 40 years? Because it's what you do. But it's shít. Invariably. Inevitably. Shít. It bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to Indian food, which is invariably excellent.

In fact, it's the exact opposite to Chinese food.

We have arrived at a great truth today.

[SWv2]

I'm done with the British 'Indian'. I've probably been eating it for, what, 40 years? Because it's what you do. But it's shít. Invariably. Inevitably. Shít. It bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to Indian food, which is invariably excellent.

In fact, it's the exact opposite to Chinese food.

We have arrived at a great truth today.

Stop this nonsense.

While the above statement may be 100% based in truth the joys of an "Indian" as we have all known it for 30-40 years is beyond dispute.

The crunch of the fresh pappadum dipped into lime pickle, a nice tarka daal, chicken madras maybe, buttery naan.

You're wrong and I demand you come clean.

[Sir C]

Stop this nonsense.

While the above statement may be 100% based in truth the joys of an "Indian" as we have all known it for 30-40 years is beyond dispute.

The crunch of the fresh pappadum dipped into lime pickle, a nice tarka daal, chicken madras maybe, buttery naan.

You're wrong and I demand you come clean.

Nah. Indian food is a wonder of controlled spicing, with an enormous variety of different dishes. The shít we eat in this country is mystery meat bathed in gravy which comes in buckets from a central supplier and differs only in colour and chilli content.

Poppadoms and lime pickle are a fine thing, to be sure, but you can't get a decent roti or chapati in this country.

When did you last see an Indian menu in Europe featuring the finest Indian dishes of all, the lal maas or the dal makhani? You didn't, because these would require a little care to prepare.

In short, you're eating shíte, and by eating it, you're encouraging the production of it.

Just stop.

[IUFG]

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

Any black tie do where you just know you are going to a get a mushy, mass catered standard chicken / beef dinner.

they are exactly the type of thing this was made for...


or a black tie do where you will receive poncy presentation of a any type of food whose quantity wouldn't satisfy a budgie. ****s.

[Burney]

Any black tie do where you just know you are going to a get a mushy, mass catered standard chicken / beef dinner.

they are exactly the type of thing this was made for...


or a black tie do where you will receive poncy presentation of a any type of food whose quantity wouldn't satisfy a budgie. ****s.

It's the fondant potatoes that do my fücking head in. Invariably undercooked (and shït anyway), but mass caterers fücking love them.

[Sir C]

Any black tie do where you just know you are going to a get a mushy, mass catered standard chicken / beef dinner.

they are exactly the type of thing this was made for...


or a black tie do where you will receive poncy presentation of a any type of food whose quantity wouldn't satisfy a budgie. ****s.

Yes, that thought depresses me in advance, but at such dos I'm so píssed by dinner time I never notice the food.

[IUFG]

Yes, that thought depresses me in advance, but at such dos I'm so píssed by dinner time I never notice the food.

well, yes, several pints of anaesthetic does help